<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>[an attempt at a Christmas romcom] by LtTanyaBoone</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28316547">[an attempt at a Christmas romcom]</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtTanyaBoone/pseuds/LtTanyaBoone'>LtTanyaBoone</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christmas, F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:21:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,165</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28316547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtTanyaBoone/pseuds/LtTanyaBoone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Emily invites a recently single JJ to spend Christmas with her, her mother and her mother's new partner in the Canadian woods.</p><p>aka</p><p>i'm pissed about The Happiest Season and i wanted Jemily fluff to make it better.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elizabeth Prentiss &amp; Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/William LaMontagne Jr.</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>119</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Dec 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi! for anyone who hasn't read anything i've posted before, be warned that, as much as i may try, i cannot seem to be able to do mindless fluff. there's no real plot here, but it's not all fluff and happiness, though by my usual standards, it's as close as i'm likely to ever get.</p><p>these are alternating pov's from JJ and Emily. one chapter for each separate day. i didn't get around to posting the one for Christmas Eve yesterday, but i'll add the one for Christmas Day later.</p><p>i don't specify when exactly this takes place, but Henry is about two years old here, so ca season 7. time is an illusion, i eat canon for breakfast.</p><p>content warning for copious amounts of alcohol consumption</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Christmas Eve (Dec 24)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>JJ paused in the doorway to the main living room, the baby monitor held in her hand.</p><p>Emily was sitting on the leather couch, one leg tucked under herself. The other foot was planted on the couch, the arm of the same side resting on her knee. The brunette had balance a book on the arm of the couch and was reading, a large glass of wine in her hand. She lifted it, taking a sip as she turned the page. JJ watched her friend’s brows dip slightly as she continued reading, her dark eyes widened, her mouth opening just a little.</p><p>Must be a good read, JJ thought, her lips curling into a small smile at being able to see Emily like this. The brunette often claimed to be a nerd, but her actually engaging in any activity that would lead to her being called that was rare.</p><p>JJ shook her head and shifted, deciding that she should probably leave her friend to enjoy her book and turn in for the night. But as she did, the wooden flooring creaked beneath her feet, drawing Emily’s attention.</p><p>“Jayje!” the brunette called and JJ felt her cheeks flush, both at being caught as well as the genuine happiness that transformed Emily’s face at the sight of her.</p><p>“Hey,” JJ murmured, leaning against the doorjamb. “I was, uh, I was just going to say goodnight,” she said.</p><p>Emily’s brows dipped and she lifted her hand, checking the inside of her wrist where her watch sat.</p><p>“It’s barely eight,” she commented, and JJ had to bite back a cringe.</p><p>“I mean, the others seem to have already gone to bed as well,” she offered weakly, which caused Emily to let out a soft groan.</p><p>The brunette stood, placing her book down.</p><p>“I am definitely pretending that they have,” Emily told her as she went to grab another wine glass from the cabinet.</p><p>“Because otherwise, I would be forced to wonder what exactly my mother might get up to. At night. While sharing a room and bed with her new partner,” Emily said meaningfully, holding JJ’s gaze for a moment before she pulled a face, and the blonde felt herself do the same thing.</p><p>“Sound choice,” she nodded as she took a step towards her friend, being pulled in by her presence as she so often was.</p><p>“Come on, join me,” Emily declared as she picked up the bottle of wine and poured for JJ. She held it out to the blonde, who placed down the baby monitor and accepted the glass. She waited for Emily to pick up her own so they could clink them and then took a small sip.</p><p>“This is really good,” she sighed, closing her eyes. The wine at dinner had been nice as well, more in the range that JJ would have bought for a special occasion for herself, but this was exquisite. She really didn’t even want to imagine, what one of these bottles might have actually cost.</p><p>“Hm,” Emily hummed, tapping a nail against the side of her glass. “I guess that’s a point in his favor. Victor knows his wines,” she remarked dryly before she sat back down on the couch, slouching.</p><p>“Where are Sasha, and…” JJ started, embarrassment heating her cheeks when she realized she’d already forgotten the names of Victor’s two other sons.</p><p>“I think they were talking about ice fishing. I guess they decided to do it,” Emily shrugged, seemingly unconcerned as JJ stared out the window into the pitch black darkness of the Canadian woods surrounding the mansion.</p><p>“At eight at night?” she frowned, and saw Emily’s reflection in the glass offer a half-hearted shrug.</p><p>“To be fair, I think it was code for getting shitfaced on the lake,” she offered, causing JJ to let out a snicker. The blood took another sip of her wine, contemplating her friend.</p><p>Despite Emily’s misgivings about Christmas in general, and Christmas spent at a remote cabin in the woods of Ontario while meeting her mother’s new partner as well as the man’s adult sons for the first time in particular, the brunette seemed, strangely at ease. She was wearing an oversized woolen jumper with a tank top peaking out at the wide hem, and her jeans had a few rips in them. There was also less makeup on her face now than JJ was so used to from work.</p><p>All in all, the picture practically screamed domesticity, and it was a sight that JJ was not used to. Something that she rarely got to see. She wasn’t sure if anyone had been allowed to see that side of Emily lately, to be honest.</p><p>When her friend had invited her to spend Christmas at the cabin, JJ had said yes without much thought at first. The alternative would have been to stay home and try to pretend like things were fine between Will and her while they put on a front for their son. And JJ had known that she simply wouldn’t be able to do that.</p><p>As much as she loved Henry, right now, she couldn’t stand the thought of being around the boy’s father for any period of time. The tought of three days in his company, trying to ward of Will’s continued attempts at reconcilliation, of getting back together, it physically made JJ feel nauseous. She’d needed to get out, get away from it all, and the invitation to do just that had been simply too good to pass up on.</p><p>It was only after she’d accepted that the thought occurred to her that almost a week in the Canadian wilderness, trapped in a small cabin with five other people she barely knew might not be the early Christmas present she’d taken it as. By the time she was heading for the airport with Henry, JJ was fairly certain that within a couple of hours, the adults would be getting on each other’s nerves, and Henry would be overwhelmed by so many strangers and throw a tantrum.</p><p>She needn’t have worried. When Emily had said the place was ‘a cabin in the woods’, JJ’s mental image had been that of a small trapper’s cabin with barely room enough for seven adults and one toddler. She should have known better. What she had found instead was a decent sized mansion, one that had made her jaw drop when she’d arrived with Henry the night before. She really should have known that someone like Ambassador Prentiss wouldn’t be caught dead spending Christmas in some dimly lit trapper cabin in Boomfuck Nowhere.</p><p>Henry and JJ had gotten here a little less than twenty-four hours ago. Henry had been utterly exhausted then, took tired to take in much of the new surroundings. A fact he had made up for during the day today, running around the house and easily playing with Victor’s adult sons. JJ had found herself surprised and actually shocked to see her son like the somewhat loud men. Where Emily and her mother were highly reserved and stayed on the quiet side, the woman’s partner was the polar opposite, and so were his sons. They were loud and boisterous, and JJ suspected more than a little tipsy, even at ten in the morning, when JJ had joined them with Henry for breakfast.</p><p>It had been kind of strange, the whole day, to see Emily this kind of ungarded around others. She still had some of her walls up, JJ could tell that much, but the brunette laughed freely and smiled more often than not. And she spoke Russian, or at least she tried to. Victor, the Ambassador’s partner, who owned the mansion, had oftentimes guffawed at the brunette’s attempts and JJ had seen Emily blush at his corrections, but she’d never turned snippy, instead nodding earnestly and repeating the words again to make sure she got them right the second time around.</p><p>The youngest of Victor’s sons, Sasha, had taken a particular liking to Henry. And the boy seemed to like him well enough as well, tugging on his thick beard and squealing in delight when Sasha tickled him in mock retaliation. The middle brother had kept talking to Emily, his voice and general demeanor almost looking like the two were arguing, especially when Emily retorted without missing a beat. It took JJ a moment to realize that the two were arguing politics. Actually, she had been worried, until the Ambassador interrupted their verbal sparring match and reminded them that the breakfast table was not a place for that kind of talk. Emily at blushed at that and murmured a ‘yes, Mother’ that had JJ hiding her smile behind her large mug of coffee.</p><p>Seeing Emily around her mother now, and comparing it to the time JJ had first encountered the two women in a room together, it was obvious to her that they’d both put a lot of work into their relationship.</p><p>When she’d first seen Emily around her mother during the Russian mobster case, it had been easy to tell how little the two women had in common, and that there was a gaping abyss sprawling between them. One forged by years of disappointment that had been allowed to fester into resentment. Once the case was over, Emily had surprised her friend by telling her that the brunette had actually made a lunch date with her mother. Emily had shrugged and said that she might as well give it one last try, trying to laugh it off, but JJ had been able to tell how much the brunette had actually wanted it to work out. And apparently, it did. Whatever the reason, the two women seemed to have arrived at a tentative ceasefire over the case, and that turned into careful peace negotiations. A peace that had been incredibly fragile at first, and JJ remembered many conversations where Emily had vented about some perceived slight to both JJ and Garcia, but the two women had helped put things into perspective to her and show her different ways of interpreting the older woman’s words. And now, years later, and countless of mentions of lunch and brunch dates with The Ambassador, JJ could see the immense shift in the relationship. Just this morning, she had witnessed Emily wordlessly pouring her mother her coffee to her liking, and the woman picking up a glass of jam and passing it to Emily before the profiler could even ask for it. And what was more, for the entirety of the day, JJ couldn’t recall the two Prentiss women trading any barbs with one another. One the contrary. She’d caught a glimpse of Emily and her mother talking quietly before lunch, and it had looked to her as if the profiler was actually happy, for her mother. That had been a kind of, strange sight, one that had left JJ feeling a little disoriented, if she was being honest. Her own parents had split nearly a decade ago, but she couldn’t remember her mother ever dating someone else, nor did she think she’d be taking it nearly as well as Emily appeared to be.</p><p>JJ gave a small shake of her head in an attempt to get rid of those thoughts and lifted her glass to be able to take another sip of wine.</p><p>“Can I, give you a piece of advice?” Emily inquired as she swirled her own wine in her glass, the woman’s dark eyes fixed on the sloshing liquid.</p><p>“Hm?” JJ hummed and gave a small nod.</p><p>“Maybe, don’t let Sasha play with Henry that much,” the brunette cautioned.</p><p>JJ frowned and opened her mouth, a sharp comment about how she was very capable of raising her own child on the tip of her tongue. But she held it back, reminding herself that this wasn’t some stranger, or Will, but Emily. The woman was only looking out for her.</p><p>The thought made her blood run cold. Emily was a profiler, and she probably knew the man better than JJ did. This might be the first time she was meeting him in person, but chances were that Emily’s mother had told her about him previously. That Emily might know about the man’s history with children.</p><p>“Is, is there…” she started, hating how her voice trembled. Panic was bubbling up inside her chest, causing the blood to rush in JJ’s ears. Emily looked up at the sound of her voice, her brows dipping in confusion, and then the other woman’s dark eyes widened and she quickly shook her head.</p><p>“No!” she exclaimed, reaching to squeeze JJ’s lower arm. “God, no, JJ. No,” she continued. “I wouldn’t have let Henry get anywhere close to him if Sasha- no,” the profiler shook her head. JJ closed her eyes at the words. She took a steadying breath, hoping that her heart rate would slow down again.</p><p>The thought that she might have allowed her child, that she could have allowed Henry into the vicinity of someone who had hurt children in the past, it had freaked her out. The idea that JJ might not have recognized a predator right under her very nose, and that she’d allowed her previous son to get close to them-</p><p>JJ reached up, pressing a hand over her mouth as she felt the bile rise at the back of her throat.</p><p>“JJ, hey,” Emily murmured, giving another squeeze of her arm, her hand slipping down and touching the inside of the blonde’s wrist. JJ turned her hand, catching her friend’s fingers in a tight squeeze.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she heard Emily apologize. “I should have worded this much better. I didn’t mean to freak you out,” she apologized, squeezing JJ’s hand. “It’s just, I figured… I mean, I’m not sure if you noticed, but, he was flirting with you.”</p><p>“What?” JJ let out a surprised laugh. She shook her head at the absurdity of the statement. “He wasn’t flirting.”</p><p>“JJ,” Emily repeated her name, rolling her eyes a little. “He was,” she insisted, something passing behind her dark eyes that JJ couldn’t quite place. “I just, I don’t want you to get hurt,” she told her, Emily’s voice softening.</p><p>JJ swallowed at the sound and inclined her head.</p><p>“Thanks,” she murmured, giving Emily’s hand a grateful squeeze. “For, looking out for me.”</p><p>“Always,” Emily smiled at her, her dazzling smile causing JJ’s heart to skip a beat.</p><p>Six months ago, the blonde had thought that she would be spending Christmas Eve on the couch with her boyfriend, wrapping up some last minute presents for their son while Henry slept in his room.</p><p>Five weeks ago, after she’d finally gotten the courage to end things with Will, JJ had figured that she would be forced to spend the holidays pretending as if her life wasn’t falling apart at the seams.</p><p>And then just yesterday morning, Emily had turned into her knight in shining armor. The person who offered her an out of the chaos, a brief break, a short-lived reprieve of the mess JJ had gotten herself into somehow. And sitting on an expensive leather couch in a mansion in the woods in Canada, with snow falling softly outside the window, JJ had the sudden thought that this was actually way better than any kind of Christmas Eve she had allowed herself to imagine for a long time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Dec 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Christmas Day (Dec 25)</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, alright!”</p><p>Emily leaned back and lifted her mug of mulled wine to take a careful sip and attempt to hide the shit-eating grin on her face as she watched her mother attempt to wrestle a horde of adults that were way too excited about Christmas as well as a toddler that had picked up on the energy into some semblance of order.</p><p>“A little help here?” her mother said, turning to Emily. The profiler arched a brow at the older woman, biting back a laugh.</p><p>“What happened to ‘I know how to handle crowds, Emily’?” she couldn’t help but tease her mother before she put her mug down again.</p><p>The brunette clapped her hands with a smile and reached over, lifting Henry from Victor’s arms, the boy laughing. He was absolutely hyper and Emily had the sense that this could quickly tip into unhappiness, or a tantrum if they weren’t careful.</p><p>“Time for presents?” she asked the boy in a sing-song voice. “Time for presents,” she declared when Henry clapped his hands excitedly.</p><p>“Please tell me you didn’t go too crazy,” JJ asked and Emily gave her a small shrug, turning towards the sun room, where they had put up the Christmas tree.</p><p>She heard JJ gasp behind her when she caught sight of the tree now sitting in a veritable sea of presents.</p><p>“Oh God,” the blonde breathed, reaching up to cover her mouth behind her hand, clearly shocked at the display, and Emily felt her cheeks heat a little at the extravagance of it all.</p><p>“It’s not all for Henry,” she tried to assure her friend.</p><p>“Only most of it,” Sergey, Victor’s oldest cut in with a small chuckle. JJ merely gaped at them and Emily offered another shrug.</p><p>“It’s not on me,” she told her. “They all insisted on getting him something, and well, there are six of us who wanted to spoil this little guy. And you like being spoiled, don’t you, bug?” she smiled at Henry, who nodded eagerly, his pacifier moving inside his mouth quickly as he took in the sea of presents. He might not understand Christmas yet, but he had somewhat of a grasp of what a present was, and this probably looked like the best thing ever to him.</p><p>“Okay, how we do this?” Sergey asked as he rubbed his hands, bouncing a little in excitement before he turned to JJ. “You have, traditions?”</p><p>“Uh,” the blonde started, reaching up to touch the back of her neck.</p><p>“How do you usually do this?” Emily asked her, and saw her friend blush a little.</p><p>“I have no clue,” JJ admitted. “Last year he wasn’t really that, present, and didn’t understand what was going on, so we just let him rip the paper off of everything,” she chuckled at the memory. “He liked playing with that more than his actual presents.”</p><p>Emily smiled at the words, easily able to picture baby Henry in a sea of wrapping paper, giggling to himself.</p><p>“Well, we used to sit together and watch everyone unwrap a present, taking turns,” Elizabeth chimed in. Emily swallowed at the memory of her father unwrapping a painting she had made for him one year.</p><p>“I think we should do that,” Victor decided, adding in Russian, “It will teach all of you some patience,” towards his sons. Emily let out a laugh at that, shaking her head slightly at JJ’s confused look. It wasn’t that important, and no matter how happy she was to translate for the blonde, this had clearly been something Victor had intended only for his three children.</p><p>Sergey rolled his eyes, but he took Henry from Emily’s arms, carrying him over to the presents. He bent down, helping the toddler stand.</p><p>“Alright, let’s start. Pick,” he told him, pointing at the presents. Henry watched him, looking between the man and the presents before looking at his mother. JJ smiled at him and nodded, kneeling down on the floor.</p><p>“It’s okay, go ahead, pick one,” she told him, and Emily found herself crouching down at well.</p><p>Henry contemplated the presents in front of him, overwhelmed by the sheer number, before he finally picked the biggest one closest to him. He tried to pick it up, but it was way too heavy for him, his little brows furrowing.</p><p>“Heavy, huh,” Sergey commented, pulling the present over and looking at the tag, a huff escaping him.</p><p>“Of course, is for Emily,” he said, and the profiler’s dark eyes widened, her cheeks flushing.</p><p>“I didn’t-” she started, before she caught herself. “I didn’t even get around to tell Santa about my wishlist,” she said, casting a glance at her mother. The Ambassador handed a mug of mulled wine to Sasha.</p><p>“I think Santa has little spies everywhere,” she commented dryly.</p><p>“Owwen,” Henry declared, struggling to get the word out around his pacifier. JJ reached out and gently pulled it from his mouth, her son not even realizing as he was tugging on Emily’s hand.</p><p>“Right, right, yes,” she nodded, turning the present around as she looked for the seam in the paper. It clearly had been wrapped by someone who knew what they were doing, probably some employee at the mall or something.</p><p>“I think I found it,” she finally said, guiding Henry to the seam as she made a small tear, offering him the edge of the paper. “I think I’m gonna need your help, bug. Ready to help me?”</p><p>Henry nodded in excitement, taking hold of the paper and starting to tear it away. It took a moment to get the actual carton beneath to be revealed, and when Emily realized what they were unwrapping, she let out a soft laugh.</p><p>“Thanks Mo- Santa,” she called out. Warmth was blooming inside the brunette’s chest at the sight of the new cat tree.</p><p>She’d told her mother how she was going to get a new, bigger one for Sergio, after the holidays. She’d only just adopted the cat and he had come with the small tree he currently had, but Emily wanted to get him something nice for Christmas, too. But some of those things could be ridiculously expensive, and while she didn’t really have to pay too much mind to how much money she spent, she liked to still keep an eye on it. Paying more than half her paycheck on a single item of cat furniture had seemed absolutely insane to her, so she’d figured she’d wait to see if some of them might go on sale, after the holidays.</p><p>“How about we find one for t-h-e c-h-i-l-d next,” the Ambassador suggested, seeing the boy shift on his feet, excited to keep going.</p><p>“The green wrapper is for him,” Sasha chimed in, causing JJ to let out a small groan.</p><p>“Which one?” she asked, and Emily had to bite back a giggle at the sight of the many presents having either full green wrapping paper, or at least some form of it printed on.</p><p>“Many,” the younger man grinned at the blonde. He gently took Henry’s shoulders, steering the boy towards a corner to help him select a thinner present. Henry brought it over to his mother by the man’s prompting, and Emily watched JJ kiss her son’s cheek and ruffle his hair.</p><p>“I wonder who that’s for,” she said, smiling brightly as she turned the tag to show the boy. “Oh look! That says, for Henry, from Santa. Santa got you a present!” she exclaimed excitedly, and Emily felt herself smile at the enthusiasm of her friend and the affection she had for her child.</p><p>“Yay!” Sasha cheered, and Henry shifted, looking overwhelmed. He cuddled close to his mother, hiding his face against her shoulder. JJ gently cradled his head, kissing his hair.</p><p>“Do you want to open it?” she asked him softly, toning down her energy at her son’s suddenly shyness. Emily saw Henry nod and JJ pulled him into her lap, finding a flap.</p><p>As the two started to open the present, Emily looked over at Sasha. She really hoped that he had managed to pick something age-appropriate for Henry, something that JJ would also feel okay accepting.</p><p>When Emily had mentioned to the others that she’d invited a friend, and that JJ would be bringing a child, all of Victor’s children as well as the man himself had insisted on picking up presents for the boy. Apparently, in their family it was tradition that the children all received gifts from the adults. And while Emily had been poised to argue, she’d also known that it would be pointless, given how excited all of them had gotten at the prospect.</p><p>But she knew JJ. She knew her friend would have a hard time accepting any presents from strangers, never mind in that quantity. But Emily really hoped that there would be some gems hiding in the sheer mass of presents. Things that Henry would really love and would persuade JJ to keep at least those. The rest could be donated to other children, if JJ really didn’t want to keep them for her own son.</p><p>“Oh, it’s a book!”</p><p>JJ’s voice pulled Emily from her thoughts and the brunette’s brows rose in surprise as Henry began flipping through the colorful pages.</p><p>“I saw in store, and it reminded me of book I used to read,” Sasha shrugged. He reached up to rub the back of his neck in slight embarrassment, the tips of his ears turning pink.</p><p>“Ah, I remember!” Victor chimed in, reaching out to touch his son’s back.</p><p>Emily felt her lips curl back in a wistful smile and quickly shook her head, trying to prevent her thoughts from going down a sad path.</p><p>Gift opening quickly devolved into utter chaos after that. But it was fun chaos, something that Emily wouldn’t have thought possible. She completely lost track of time, and was surprised when she checked her watch after attempting to stifle a yawn and realized three hours had passed.</p><p>“Late night?”</p><p>The profiler rolled her eyes at her mother’s comment and arched brow. She stood, gathering the abandoned mugs of the adults that they’d used for their mulled wine and carried them to the kitchen in an attempt to busy herself as well as stretch her legs.</p><p>“Yeah, sure,” she commented as she placed the mugs in the dishwasher. She straightened again and grabbed a clean mug for herself, as well as the coffee pot. She turned after, taking a sip of coffee to find that her mother was leaning against the counter, simply watching her.</p><p>“What?” Emily inquired, her brows dipping. She reached up automatically, wiping her thumb beneath her bottom lip. “Did I smear my lipstick?”</p><p>“No,” the Ambassador shook her head, surprising Emily. She usually was only faced with that kind of scrutiny when she’d messed up. Well, or at least that used to be the case, in the past. She had to admit that these days, things were different, with her mother. Something that still left her feeling a little, off-kilter at times.</p><p>Elizabeth turned, leaning her back against the counter. Emily watched the older woman draw a deliberate breath as she crossed her arms.</p><p>“It was her, wasn’t it,” the Ambassador finally said, her voice soft and barely audible in the room.</p><p>Still, Emily heard her, and the profiler felt the blood drain from her face at her mother’s words.</p><p>The sounds that had been carrying down from the hall and into the kitchen, of the rest of the others talking loudly and laughing, they all stopped. Were drowned out by the sound of blood rushing in Emily’s ears. The brunette’s jaw dropped and she gaped at her mother, her brain trying to come up with something, anything to say to her, but she came up empty.</p><p>She should deny it. She should tell her mother no, of course it hadn’t been JJ who she had talked about all those years ago, when she’d finally managed to gather her courage and fully come out to the Ambassador.</p><p>The older woman had known her daughter wasn’t completely straight since Emily’s college years, thanks to an impromptu visit she hadn’t bothered to mention to her daughter prior to arriving. The arrival upon which she had walked in on Emily and her very female date making out.</p><p>The two of them had never talked about the incident. Never addressed it and what it meant. And Emily had kept showing up to her mother’s events with men at her arms. But over the years, she stopped pretending to date them, and went to introducing them as friends. Which most of their social circle interpreted to mean that they were in fact dating, but keeping it quiet for the time being, but that was hardly the brunette’s fault.</p><p>It was only when Emily got settled at the BAU that she started actually having regular contact with her mother. The two went on lunch dates together, and part of Emily hadn’t wanted to attempt to rebuild their relationship with a lie. She hadn’t wanted to keep hiding such a massive part of herself. And so she’d told her mother, about this colleague she had. Who was wonderful, and smart, and so kind, amazing with words, too. Who could make anyone around them feel welcome, who cared deeply about their jobs and the families they tried to help every day. Who was a woman. And seeing her every day, becoming her friend, it had made Emily realize that she’d never date another man again, because none of her attempts at relationships with them even came close to how the other woman made her feel, and the two of them weren’t even dating.</p><p>Her mother had asked about the woman a few times since then, but it stopped when Emily told her nothing was going to happen, seeing as the other woman had just announced her pregnancy to the team.</p><p>Given all the details that Emily had provided her mother with, it really wasn’t that much of a surprise that the older woman had finally put two and two together.</p><p>“Yes,” she breathed. Emily reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose, nausea welling up inside of her.</p><p>“You can’t tell her,” she implored and watched her mother’s face soften.</p><p>“I won’t.</p><p>“I’m serious, Mother,” Emily pushed. “JJ… she means a lot to me. Her and I are friends, best friends, and I don’t want to ruin that because of a stupid crush that I had on her years ago,” the profiler shook her head.</p><p>“Oh Emily,” Elizabeth breathed, a sad look in her dark eyes. She surprised Emily by reaching out and touching the younger woman’s cheek, her thumb stroking over the skin in a gesture that felt almost maternal.</p><p>“What?” the brunette breathed when her mother didn’t continue. When she simply stood there, searching her daughter’s face.</p><p>“Nothing,” Elizabeth finally said and let her hand fall away again. “I do appreciate you being here,” she suddenly said, and Emily swallowed thickly as she inclined her head.</p><p>“I’m glad I came,” she admitted, the words ringing true for once.</p><p>She’d considered turning down the invitation, claiming that she wouldn’t be able to make it because of a case. But then she had reconsidered. Her mother was seeing someone. For the first time since Emily’s father had passed, Elizabeth Prentiss was officially seeing someone. And it appeared to be serious.</p><p>Emily wasn’t stupid. As much as she might pretend otherwise, she knew that there must have been people over the years. Even someone who came off as cold as her mother had needs, after all, but Emily had gladly pretended that they didn’t exist and that her mother was happily single and married to her work.</p><p>But now she was seeing Victor Parlow, and the two were so serious about it that the Ambassador had decided to spend Christmas with him, in Canada of all places.</p><p>Not that Emily was really complaining. She liked Ontario, and the wilderness in winter was simply stunning. She liked being here. But still, just a few weeks ago Emily would have sworn up and down that wild horses wouldn’t be able to dag her mother away from the holiday festivities and balls and parties of DC. Yet the woman had happily left town to spend Christmas with Victor, and the man’s sons. Which said more about her feelings than her mother would have ever put into words.</p><p>“I know you miss him,” Elizabeth’s voice pulled Emily from her thoughts. “I miss him, too.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Emily nodded, her lips curving into a sad smile at the memory of her father. She’d never been close to her mother, but her father had been a different story. She’d really loved him and adored him, and even years after his death, it still pained her to remember him.</p><p>“I was just thinking, do you remember that one Christmas in, God, I think it might have been Paris?” she asked her mother, biting back a laugh. “There was supposed to be this huge party, and you made me dress up all fancy. I think I was like, twelve, maybe thirteen?” the profiler frowned, trying to pinpoint the year and failing. “It had snowed the whole day, and just as the first guests arrived, the power finally gave out.”</p><p>“I remember that!” Elizabeth exclaimed, hiding her laugh behind her hand. “It was terrible! A complete disaster.”</p><p>“I think it was my favorite Christmas,” Emily told her and watched as her mother’s dark eyes widened in surprise. “I remember the candles everywhere, and people singing carols in all languages. I remember Father dancing with me by the fireplace…” she trailed off, her gaze growing unfocused as she felt herself slip into the memory.</p><p>She could almost feel the heat of the fire on the side of her face. The sensation of her father’s hand against her waist. The way he beamed at her in the low light, smiling down at Emily.</p><p>“I think that was the last time Christmas actually felt like one,” she murmured.</p><p>“I just remember the wax stains everywhere,” Elizabeth chuckled darkly, before she reached out, gently placing her hand on Emily’s lower arm.</p><p>“You want a break?”</p><p>“No,” Emily shook her head, surprised at the question. Her mother had never asked her that before. She’d either been oblivious to Emily’s discomfort, or told her daughter to push through it and not make a scene. That she was asking about how she was feeling now, even in such a veiled way, it was a testament of how much the two of them had worked on their relationship in the past year.</p><p>“No, actually I think I’m going to ask JJ if maybe it’s time to let Henry run off some steam outside,” she decided. Emily down her mug and pulled the sleeves of her sweater over her hands as she left the kitchen in an attempt to keep herself from fidgeting with her fingers while she went in search of JJ to see if she thought building a snowman with Henry was a good idea.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>JJ felt herself shiver. The blonde wrapped her arms around herself in a tight embrace and stomped her feet on the wood of the deck, cringing when the heard the glass door slide open and then close again, followed by heavy footsteps.</p><p>“Here.”</p><p>“Thanks,” JJ murmured as Victor draped a fleece blanket around her shoulders. She pulled the ends closed in front of her, hoping that the thing would help to preserve more of her body heat. Even though she was wearing her winter coat, she felt frozen after just a couple of minutes outside. She hadn’t thought it could get quite this cold.</p><p>“Is still snowing,” the man remarked, watching the large white flakes tumble through the air around them.</p><p>“Hm,” JJ hummed softly in acknowledgement. She’d gone outside to clear her head and watch the snow, it usually calmed her down.</p><p>“I hope it doesn’t get too bad,” she continued. “A little more, and I fear I’ll lose Henry in a snowdrift.”</p><p>At her words, the man next to her let out a laugh.</p><p>“When children were young, one year, Sergey throw Sasha from sled,” he told her, his accent thicker than usual. JJ was fairly sure it was both due to the copious amounts of wine they’d all consumed for dinner, and the emotion of the memory.</p><p>“He just went, poof!” the man laughed, miming falling over face first. “I had to reach in and pull him out, it was too deep.”</p><p>“I can imagine,” JJ nodded with a smile. One she quickly felt slip off her face again. The blonde shifted, her brows dipping slightly. Next to her, she heard Victor hum softly.</p><p>“Emily… she is good girl. Woman,” he corrected himself at JJ’s arched brow.</p><p>“She is,” she agreed, curious to see where the man was going with the comment. It seemed a strange one to make, especially to her, who didn’t know him at all.</p><p>“Deserves to be happy.”</p><p>“Don’t we all,” JJ remarked with a sad sigh, cringing at the words.</p><p>Victor pursed his lips as he reached up to touch the back of his neck. The gesture reminded JJ of the man’s son; Sasha kept doing the same thing when he got flustered. She wondered if he might have picked it up from his father.</p><p>“When Elizabeth tell me you come, I thought, very nice. Emily bringing her girlfriend.”</p><p>“Oh,” JJ breathed, her blue eyes widening at the man’s words. “I’m not… I mean, Emily and I, we aren’t-”</p><p>“I know,” Victor nodded. “I know. Emily, she tell me. But…” he trailed off, searching JJ’s face.</p><p>The blonde tilted her head slightly, regarding him in turn.</p><p>“I know, I am stranger, to you,” Victor said. “And maybe, we never see again, after Christmas, yes? So I, don’t have to be nice. I don’t have, how you say?” he sighed, adding something in Russian that JJ had not the first clue what it could mean. She cast a look to the side, belatedly realized that she was alone with Victor out on the deck. That for once, Emily wasn’t within earshot, the brunette unable to help JJ out and provide a translation for her.</p><p>The thought that Emily was inside without her, it made JJ’s heart sink, and then start hammering quickly inside the blonde’s chest.</p><p>Ever since she’d arrived on the twenty-third, it seemed to her like Emily had always been just right there, right next to her. The two of them had barely spent thirty minutes apart from each other since the brunette had picked JJ and Henry up at the airport, Emily having flown out in the morning whereas JJ’s flight at been in the late afternoon.</p><p>But being around Emily, that had been nice. With anyone else, JJ was sure she would have felt suffocated. She often had felt like that with Will. When he kept being this close to her for such a long time. It had always felt like he was crowding her, had felt to JJ like she wasn’t getting enough air into her lungs.</p><p>With Emily though, it was different. Her friend was simply, she was just there. JJ and her, they could sit in silence and not utter a word for hours, each following their own trail of thoughts, before they’d easily pick up a conversation again from before they’d fallen into silence without effort. JJ wanted her around. She’d caught herself checking where Emily was and scooting closer to the brunette. Not because the other people were making her nervous, but because she wanted to be closer to the other woman.</p><p>Earlier, Emily had asked her if she wanted to go outside with Henry, and JJ had thought it was a good idea. So Emily and her and Henry, they stepped into the cold, and let Henry just run up and down the driveway, and play in the snow for a bit, before they’d build a snowman together. And it had been absolutely wonderful. It had been the kind of, easy domesticity, the kind of magical experience that JJ had come to long for. The one she wanted her son to have. And without even knowing that, Emily had suggested doing something with Henry, as if she’d sensed it.</p><p>“I have, no stakes in this,” Victor pulled the blonde from her musings. JJ gave a small nod, still confused by his words.</p><p>“Uh, sure,” she agreed, trying to figure out where the man may be going with this.</p><p>“Sometimes, when you look at Emily, you look at her like I look at Elizabeth.”</p><p>JJ’s eyes widened, her cheeks heating as the blonde flushed profusely at the man’s words. She ducked her head, kicking her legs against the wood of the deck.</p><p>“Emily, she’s my best friend,” JJ muttered. “I love her, and I care about her so much. As a friend,” she emphasized, wondering why her heart clenched painfully in her chest at her words.</p><p>Victor allowed a soft sigh to escape himself.</p><p>“Sometimes, I don’t see resemblance, between Elizabeth and Emily,” she heard him say. “Both beautiful, yes, very pretty. But, different.”</p><p>Victor watched her, a look in his eyes that she couldn’t quite place. It almost looked like, sadness.</p><p>“But then, I see Emily look at you, and I see her eyes. Same expression as when Elizabeth look at me.”</p><p>“Mister Parlow,” JJ started, only to find herself interrupted when Victor corrected her.</p><p>“Victor. Please,” he reminded her with a soft smile, and JJ had to resist the urge to roll her eyes at him.</p><p>“Victor,” she continued. “Really, Emily and I, we’re just close friends.”</p><p>The man let out a low hum, watching her with a tilt of his head.</p><p>“Elizbeth tell you, about my wife?” he asked, and JJ shook her head no. “She was beautiful. Very beautiful. And I know she love boys. But never loved me,” he shrugged.</p><p>“Victor-”</p><p>“Is okay,” he waved her off. “I don’t blame her. It was, different time. I was good choice. Good man, good money,” he shrugged.</p><p>“But, I loved her, a lot. And I wanted see her happy. So, when she died, I promise myself, when I see someone not happy, I say something,” he shrugged, holding up his hand.</p><p>“And now, I won’t say anymore,” he told her. “I will go for drink. You want come inside?”</p><p>JJ swallowed heavily, blinking against the sudden moisture in her eyes.</p><p>“I, uh, I think I’m going to stay out here for a bit more,” she told him, watching as Parlow nodded before returning inside. He pulled the door closed behind him and JJ’s blue eyes widened at the sight of Emily stepping into the hallway. The brunette reached for her coat, her dark eyes meeting JJ’s, and the blonde quickly averted her gaze. JJ turned around, her back to the hallway again. She drew a shuddering breath, attempting to get a hold of her emotions, of the chaos raging inside of her as she prepared herself to hear the sound of the sliding door again, followed by Emily’s familiar footsteps against the wood. But the sounds didn’t come.</p><p>When JJ finally risked a glance over her shoulder, the hallway inside the house was empty. Emily’s coat was sitting on the rack. Whatever Victor had said to her, it must have made the brunette woman reconsider joining JJ outside. And the blonde wasn’t sure, if she should be happy or sad about it.</p><p>She reached up, hiding her face in her hands for a moment as a teary chuckle escaped the blonde. She didn’t even know why there were suddenly tears in her eyes and she didn’t want to be with Emily. Not while she felt, like this, at least. Like someone had just pulled out the rug from under her and left JJ reeling, left her grasping and fighting for balance.</p><p>She’d thought that she was well over her stupid crush on the other woman.</p><p>When Emily first joined the BAU, JJ had caught herself basically drooling over the older woman. She’d stood there with her mouth hanging open, simply watching Emily do her paperwork or pinning pictures to a murder board. It had been ridiculous, really, the state of her. But who could really blame JJ? Emily had been this, sophisticated woman, this enigmatic creature that had just waltzed right into their lives, and the blonde had simply found herself enamored with with the brunette. Having another woman on the team had been a godsent, and to have that woman be someone as competent as Agent Prentiss even more so.</p><p>It was only now, years later, with her own experiences as a profiler, that JJ could look back on those first couple of months and recognize just how hard Emily had been trying to fit in with them. She’d been overcompensating painfully all the time. Listening to Reid’s nerdy ramblings, offering a shoulder and ear and banter to Penelope, striking up a fast friendship with Morgan. Only JJ Emily had kept somewhat of a distance from. The first couple of invites to girls nights had gotten turned down by the brunette, and JJ was fairly certain that only Garcia’s persistence had made Emily accept one in the end. But she had been careful. She never drank much, never stayed the night. Never shared a bed with JJ, even if the blonde would have been willing to share with Emily. Penelope and Emily, or Garcia and JJ, that was fine and they often shared beds, but never Emily and JJ. At least not for a while. It took time, for that to shift. Only a while after the Russian mobster case, the same one that had caused the team to meet Prentiss’s mother. Emily begun spending nights at JJ’s place, and bought her coffee on her way into work. The two of them had even ended up sharing clothes a few times, mostly tops, but also pants on one occasion.</p><p>It had been so easy, to fall for Emily. Like breathing, like blinking, it seemed like it was something JJ had been programmed to do. Falling out of love with her, that has proven to be impossible. Even years after JJ started to try, to attempt to get rid of her romantic feelings for the other woman, they were just as strong. No, actually, they seemed even stronger than when JJ had tried to shove them into a box and bury them in the recesses of her mind. But the lid kept popping open, her feelings kept spilling out, and JJ realized she was fighting a losing battle.</p><p>The blonde tilted back her head, biting back a groan of frustration.</p><p>Why did her life have to be so fucking complicated? Couldn’t Victor just have kept his mouth shut, and not told her about the way that Emily supposedly looked at her? That certainly would have made things a lot easier, for JJ.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Emily reached up, running the brush carefully through her dark hair in a slow motion. She jumped a little at the unexpected knock on her bedroom door and turned to frown at the wood before she gave a small shrug.</p><p>“It’s open,” she called, too lazy to get up and check who it was. She was already clad in a soft t-shirt with a print of reindeer partying as well as soft yoga pants, ready to turn in for the night. The day had left her strangely exhausted, even if they hadn’t done that much.</p><p>The door opened, and Emily half-expected it to be Yegor, to ask her if she wanted to go out ice-fishing or something equally ridiculous.</p><p>Instead, it was JJ who stepped into her bedroom, the blonde’s hand still fiddling with the knob of Emily’s door.</p><p>“Hey,” Emily greeted her with a soft smile as she lowered her hairbrush.</p><p>“Is everything okay?” she asked her friend when she saw the expression in JJ’s eyes, and the blonde failed to speak.</p><p>She watched JJ draw a deep breath before she wordlessly pointed at Emily’s bed. The profiler nodded and watched as JJ turned to close the door. She walked over to the bed, sinking down on the edge as she grabbed a pillow, hugging it tightly. Emily turned on her chair, to give her friend her full attention. JJ’s behavior was worrying her, had no clue what was going on with the blonde, what had her like, this.</p><p>“I just, I wanted to say, thank you,” JJ murmured, her voice barely audible in the room. She toyed with the corner of the pillow, unable to look at Emily as she spoke.</p><p>“For inviting Henry and me to come out here. I thought Christmas this year was going to be an absolute disaster, and that I’d hate it. But instead of being at home with Will, forced to play nice and pretend that things are okay, I’m here instead, with you, and your family. And it’s, it’s been… really nice,” JJ whispered.</p><p>Emily’s lips curved into a soft smile, warmth flooding her at the blonde’s words.</p><p>“You’re very welcome,” she told her. “I mean, I may have invited you for entirely selfish reasons, but I’m really glad you’re enjoying your time here.”</p><p>That made JJ look up at her, her brows furrowed, and Emily gave a small shrug.</p><p>“Without you, I would have had to go up against Sergey, Yegor and Sasha all on my own. And now, I at least have you in my corner,” she told her friend. “Plus, Henry has been an amazing and very cute distraction as well.”</p><p>“Right,” JJ nodded with a smile, but Emily’s heart sank at the realization that it was a fake one. It was a left over from her days as a media liaison, Emily supposed, but to see JJ throw one of those fake smiles her way, that stung. Especially because Emily would have thought they were past the pint of feeling like they needed to lie to each other about how they were feeling.</p><p>“What’s going on?” she decided to ask her friend, softening her voice. At JJ’s confused expression, Emily gave a small shake of her head. “I mean, something is obviously wrong. You have been… kind of strange, since you and Victor were on the deck together.”</p><p>“Whatever did he say to you?” JJ inquired, in lieu of answering Emily’s question.</p><p>“Nothing,” the brunette shrugged. “Really,” she insisted when JJ gave her a disbelieving look. “All he said was that you needed some time to yourself.”</p><p>It was the truth, too. She’d been meaning to joining JJ on the deck but her mother’s partner had advised her against it. And his words, coupled with the tension she’d been able to see in JJ’s frame, had made Emily figure that she should give the blonde some space.</p><p>She could only imagine how difficult Christmas was, for JJ this year. Being away from Will for the first time in years, and to spend the holidays in a house full of other people, almost all of which were complete strangers to JJ. Emily herself was stressed, as well. She wasn’t as used to keeping up her mask for such long periods of time as she had been in the past, and it was taking some effort. Being nice to everyone, not stepping on any feet, trying to spread Christmas cheer, it was a lot.</p><p>JJ nodded slowly, hugging the pillow tighter. Emily let the blonde ruminate in her own thoughts for a moment, before she heard her friend let out a sigh.</p><p>“I think, you and I, we need to talk.”</p><p>Not what Emily had wanted to hear. The words made her heart hammer in her chest and she swallowed thickly as she sat up straighter in her chair.</p><p>“Okay,” she nodded, bracing herself. “What’s up?”</p><p>JJ looked at the brunette, her blue eyes piercing before she averted her gaze again. Emily watched the other woman’s jaw work for a moment, before JJ let out a huff of frustration.</p><p>“I never know exactly where I stand, with you.”</p><p>The words hit Emily hard, like a slap across the face. She could actually feel their sting and had to resist the urge to reach up and cradle her cheek with her hand as her face burned.</p><p>“I mean, I know we always say that we’re friends, but…” JJ continued, trailing off. “Before you told me to go for him, before Will and I became serious, I was thinking of asking you out.”</p><p>Emily’s dark eyes widened at the blonde’s whispered admission.</p><p>JJ, Jennifer Jareau, she had considered on asking her out? Had thought of asking Emily Prentiss, the woman who was an utter nerd, who was unable to make any relationship work, who kept running from her problems and herself, she’d been thinking of asking that Emily Prentiss out?</p><p>“Wow,” the brunette breathed, utterly stunned.</p><p>“Yeah,” JJ chuckled darkly, reaching up to run a hand through her hair in a ragged gesture.</p><p>“I just, I thought, maybe there was something, you know? But then you told me to go for Will, and I figure, all of that must have been in my head. Only that, earlier, on the deck, Victor said something, and it made me think…”</p><p>Emily felt her face heat again, her skin flushing crimson.</p><p>“I knew that she wouldn’t be able to keep her mouth shut,” she muttered, hiding her face in her hands. Confiding in her mother, trusting that the Ambassador would keep the revelation of Emily’s feelings for her houseguest to herself, that had been a terrible mistake. Something that Emily should have been able to figure out before she did it.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“My mother,” Emily sighed at JJ’s question, not pausing to give it any thought. “When I told her that I had a crush on a colleague years ago, I never used your name. But she figured it out earlier, and really, let’s be honest here, there weren’t that many options, really,” Emily shook her head at herself and her own stupidity. How could she have been so naive, so careless?</p><p>“I didn’t think she’d run straight to him with the news, though,” she added darkly, making a mental note to thank her mother for that act in the morning.</p><p>“I don’t think she did,” JJ’s voice pulled Emily from her self-flagellation.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You had a crush on me?” JJ asked her, searching Emily’s face. The brunette opened her mouth, to brush it off, to claim it was not a big deal. That she was well over it now.</p><p>But she couldn’t. She couldn’t do it, couldn’t bring herself to say it. Couldn’t bring herself to lie to JJ like that.</p><p>“Have,” she said instead.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Present tense,” Emily breathed, swallowing thickly. “I, have, a crush on you. Well, actually, that’s… I mean, I would, probably not call it a crush,” she mumbled and looked away. She stared down into her lap, where she was fidgeting, tearing at her cuticles.</p><p>Emily let out a small hiss and reached over for a tissue, pressing it against the spot where a bead of blood was welling forth. Shit!</p><p>“Let me see.”</p><p>JJ’s voice was suddenly incredibly close, the blonde kneeling down in front of Emily. She must have crossed the room while the brunette stared down at her hands, nervously pulling at her own skin.</p><p>The blonde took her hand and peeled back the tissue Emily was pressing against the fresh wound, the younger woman’s expression softening.</p><p>Emily squirmed in her seat as JJ examined her hands, taking in the bitten nails, and the broken skin. She wasn’t proud of her particular nervous tic, but having it examined like that, it made her feel incredibly self-conscious about it.</p><p>“You’ve got to stop doing this,” JJ murmured, her voice gentle.</p><p>“It’s not like I haven’t tried,” Emily rolled her eyes. “Because I have, trust me. And really, it’s fine. I’m just, stressed out. It’ll get better, when the holidays are over and I’m not as stressed out anymore.”</p><p>“I know,” JJ nodded, meeting Emily’s eyes.</p><p>And then she shocked the brunette by lifting Emily’s hand to her mouth, gently kissing each fingertip.</p><p>The brunette felt her cheeks heat furiously as she watched JJ do it, her eyes nearly falling out of her head as her breath came in short bursts.</p><p>“There,” JJ declared with a shy smile, “all better.”</p><p>Emily swallowed thickly at the blonde’s intense gaze, heart racing in her chest.</p><p>“I sometimes bite my lips as well,” she said before she could even consider exactly what it was that was leaving her mouth. Before she had any time to process the thought that had suddenly occurred to her.</p><p>She watched as JJ’s brows shot up in surprise.</p><p>“Do you?” she asked her.</p><p>“Uh-huh,” Emily gave a weak nod. “I chew on them. They’re all, dry and chapped now.”</p><p>“And what do you want me to do about that?” JJ asked her, her voice low as she held Emily’s gaze. The brunette thought she could hear both of their hearts hammering away inside their chests, trying their best to escape from their ribcages.</p><p>“Kiss it better?” she offered weakly, feeling her cheeks burn.</p><p>JJ’s tongue darted out to wet her lips, and then her hands were gently cradling Emily’s face. The blonde’s thumbs stroked over her cheeks before she leaned in, and Emily could feel the softest brushing of soft lips over her own chapped ones-</p><p>The brunette’s mouth opened at the contact and she let out a soft sound before leaning in, touching her lips to JJ’s with more pressure. Her own hands went up, one to cradle JJ’s face, the other to run through her silky soft hair and then bury in the long tresses. And just like that, the two of them were kissing. Actually kissing, for real, JJ and her. Emily was kissing Jennifer Jareau.</p><p>And in the back of her mind, Emily couldn’t help but think that this was the best Christmas gift she’d received in a very long time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dec 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Second Day of Christmas (Dec 26)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Morning found JJ on the soft sheepskin rug in the sunroom, her son babbling softly while the two of them played with his new presents.</p><p>JJ had woken up early. In Emily’s bed, with the brunette snuggled up behind her, one arm wrapped protectively around JJ’s middle.</p><p>The mere thought of their position made JJ’s cheeks heat. Nothing had really happened, well, besides some very nice and intense kissing. Kissing Emily had felt like, like coming home from a way too long journey, and JJ had been reluctant to leave the brunette’s side. So they had decided to share the massive bed. Just like the two women had done countless of times in the past, on cases or during girls nights. Only, only last night it had been, different. She’d fallen asleep sober, curled up against Emily and still exchanging soft kisses with the brunette.</p><p>JJ knew that thing between them were going to change. Emily and her, they hadn’t really talked about the kisses, or their feelings, but JJ knew that there was no going back to how things had been before. No going back to hiding their feelings from one another.</p><p>And as JJ had woken up and laid there, just watching Emily sleep on, the older woman’s face relaxed in sleep, panic had started to well up inside of her. She’d feared that she had ruined everything now, with kissing Emily and hadn’t been able to stay in bed anymore, so she’d carefully extricated herself from under the brunette’s arm and slipped from the room.</p><p>Everything had just been, way too real. Emily and her, they’d kissed! And Emily, she’d basically admitted that she was in love with her, and JJ in turned had revealed that she’s thought of asking Emily out, and would have done so, too, if the brunette hadn’t pushed her into Will’s direction. And JJ, she’d gone to him willingly, and now she had a child, and an ex-boyfriend who was the father of said child, and somehow, they needed to figure out how to navigate all of that. And also think about what they were going to do, about work. Hotch wouldn’t be too happy about finding out about this, given the issues it could cause for them both when it came to remaining on the same team. Never mind what the others were going to say.</p><p>JJ drew a shuddering breath and watched her son reach into one of the huge buckets. Henry pulled out another dinosaur toy, frowning at it, before he held it out to his mother.</p><p>“Thank you,” she murmured, taking the plastic toy and making it walk along the blocks her son had lined up, thinking they might be a road. Henry grinned at her, before he flopped down next to her, snuggling close to his mother.</p><p>JJ wrapped her arm around him and hugged him close, pressing a soft kiss to his hair.</p><p>“I love you. I love you so much, you know that, right?” she asked him. “Mommy loves you more than anything,” she told her son. The blonde closed her eyes, inhaling the soft smell of him, relaxing a little at having him this close to her.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>JJ’s blue eyes shot open at the soft sound of Emily’s voice. The brunette was still in her soft yoga pants and the t-shirt with the partying reindeer that she’d worn to bed the night before. She slowly crossed the room, sitting down amidst the mess of building blocks and dinosaur toys.</p><p>“I woke up, and…” the older woman trailed off, and JJ swallowed thickly at the expression in Emily’s dark eyes.</p><p>“Yeah,” she mumbled, brushing the hair from Henry’s face. “I, uh, I had to use the bathroom,” she told her, “and then I went to check on him and Henry was waking up, so…” she shrugged, hoping that it sufficiently explained how her and Henry had ended up in the sun room at barely six o’clock, with them both still clad in their PJs as well.</p><p>Emily nodded, giving the boy a small smile.</p><p>“Enjoying Santa’s gifts, huh?”</p><p>Henry babbled something and held out a block to Emily. The brunette paused before she accepted it, contemplating the boy’s construction. JJ tilted her head, watching how serious the other woman took it. Someone else might have just placed it anywhere without giving it much thought, but she seemed to actually try and figure out what the boy had been doing and where another block could go.</p><p>Emily leaned forward, placing the block on a few others that might be the beginning of a tower.</p><p>Apparently, it had been the right thing to do, judging from Henry’s reaction. The boy wiggled out of JJ’s grasp and went to Emily, hugging the brunette woman.</p><p>“Hey, bug,” the older woman whispered, gently wrapping her arms around the toddler. “What do you say, how about you and I, we go get some coffee started, and I make you some nice cocoa, as well? How’s that sound?” she inquired.</p><p>JJ watched her son nod eagerly, leaning back and looking at Emily with big eyes. The brunette stood, easily picking the boy up once she was upright, and balancing him on her hip.</p><p>“Blow Mommy a kiss,” she instructed him, and JJ swallowed hard as Henry did just that, and then Emily left the sunroom, probably heading for the kitchen, leaving the blonde alone with her thoughts.</p><p>The sight of Emily with her son, it had made the blonde’s stomach do a weird little flop. It had looked so right. Like, this was exactly how things were supposed to be. And while she wished that it was this easy, JJ knew that it sadly wasn’t.</p><p>Emily wasn’t Henry’s mother, no matter how much JJ might currently wish for that. The boy had a dad, and that was Will. And JJ was torn, between wanting this kind of easy domesticity that she was experiencing right now, and the guilt she felt at the thought of taking Henry away from the cop. Will had a right to his son, and more than that, she wanted Henry to have a relationship with his father. The boy adored him, and JJ didn’t want to break them apart. Not if there was a way around it.</p><p>The blonde reached up and hid her face in her hands for a moment, before she resolutely went and brushed her hair out of her face. JJ shook her head, deciding that this was an issue she couldn’t solve at just past six on the second day of Christmas, especially not without any coffee in her system.</p><p>JJ got up from the floor and carefully stepped around the blocks and dinosaurs on the floor. Victor’s family had gifted Henry two big buckets of building blocks, as well as one with dinosaur figures. One hundred dinosaur figures, as the side of the bucket proudly proclaimed. The first time she’d seen it, JJ had wanted to laugh her head off at the ridiculousness of it, but earlier when they were playing, Henry had seemed to enjoy it. Probably more for the fact of the sheer number of figures and toys, than for what they were, but as long as he enjoyed the gift, it was fine with JJ.</p><p>JJ shook her head, deciding that she better check on Emily and her son. As much as she trusted the brunette, Emily this early in the morning, especially without coffee in her system? That could go terribly wrong very fast, JJ had learned the hard way from cases out of town. And Henry definitely wasn’t going to understand if the woman suddenly got cranky with the boy.</p><p>She did find them in the kitchen. Henry was sitting on the counter, Emily standing right in front of him and cutting any comment about safety that JJ may have had on the tip of her tongue short. She watched as the brunette helped the boy spoon some powder into a mug and stir it, before she put it into the microwave above the stove to give it a quick zap.</p><p>“I know, she’s wonderful, and I shouldn’t be upset,” she heard Emily sight, the brunette’s back to the door and JJ. She hadn’t noticed the blonde’s arrival, and maybe it was rude to eavesdrop, but JJ wanted to know, what the other woman might be talking about with her son.</p><p>“And I’m not. Not really, I guess. I think I’m just scared,” Emily mumbled as she reached up and gently strokes Henry’s hair before her hand fell away again.</p><p>“What if we made a giant mistake, bug?” she asked Henry, the boy shaking the carton of milk Emily had left out next to him vigorously. JJ held her breath, fully expecting the thing to explode and spill milk all over her son and Emily, but then she realized that there was a distinct lack of the sound of sloshing liquid coming from the carton. Apparently, Emily had used up what was left in it, before she’d left Henry have it. Smart move. Maybe the woman was more functional than she liked to pretend.</p><p>“I mean, I love her,” she heard Emily say, JJ’s heart skipping a beat at the words. She reached up, quickly covering her mouth to hide a surprised gasp.</p><p>She really hadn’t expected that. Especially so soon. Hearing Emily say the words, it made JJ’s blue eyes widen and her heart race in her chest. What were they doing?</p><p>“I love your Mommy so much. But I know it’s not that simple,” Emily continued. “I know you’ve got your daddy, too, and I swear, I won’t get in the way of that. I wouldn’t dream of it. But I just, I want to be a part of your life, too. Yours and your mommy’s, you know?” Emily continue, before she suddenly let out a chuckle.</p><p>“And what am I even doing here, talking to you about this?” she asked, booping Henry’s nose. “You don’t even know how to spell ‘feelings’,” she added, gently tickling Henry’s sides. The boy dropped the carton, letting out a squealing laugh, and the sound of Emily’s laugh mixing with it made JJ’s heart turn to mush.</p><p>The brunette reached over and took out the mug from the micowave, pouring the cocoa into Henry’s sippy cup, the boy trying to grab it from her impatiently.</p><p>“Hang on, hang on,” Emily mumbled as she screwed on the top and gave it a quick test on the inside of her wrist, to make sure the little guy wouldn’t burn his mouth. She held it out to him and Henry took his sippycup, drinking eagerly.</p><p>“Goo,” he declared after a few deep sips.</p><p>“Good?” Emily nodded, smiling at him, and JJ took it as her cue to take a step further into the kitchen and approach them.</p><p>“You think we should make mommy one, as well?” Emily inquired, and Henry nodded, reaching for JJ.</p><p>“Mama!” he declared and Emily turned slightly, her dark eyes widening when she realized JJ was in the room with them. The blonde smiled at them, walking over to her son.</p><p>“Hey bud, how’s your cocoa? You like it?” JJ smiled widely at him, joining Emily and Henry at the counter.</p><p>Henry nodded, taking another drink.</p><p>“I didn’t put too much powder in it. He shouldn’t get a sugar rush from this,” the brunette quickly said, and JJ smiled at her.</p><p>“It’s fine,” she assured her friend. “He gets to enjoy a yummy treat. Is it yummy?” she asked Henry, who held his cup out to her to share.</p><p>“Thanks,” JJ chuckled, accepting the cup and taking a small sip. She felt Emily’s surprised gaze on her and gave a small shrug. It definitely wasn’t the first time she’d done this, in fact, the blonde had lost count of how many times she’d checked what exactly was in one of his cups by taking a sip from it. Though JJ had to admit, it probably looked really ridiculous.</p><p>“Hm, yummy!” she declared, handing the cup back to Henry, who immediately went back to enjoying his drink. Emily stepped away from them, gathering two mugs and pouring JJ and herself some coffee.</p><p>“Milk and sugar?” she asked, and JJ gave an eager nod. This early in the morning, with only minimal sleep she was really in need of both the caffeine as well as an unhealthy dose of sugar to help get her going for the day.</p><p>“Thanks,” she murmured as she accepted the mug from Emily, their fingers brushing. Their eyes snapped to each other, and JJ felt her cheeks heat at the intensity of Emily’s gaze. She licked her lips, carefully pulling back, already missing the contact as soon as it was gone.</p><p>Henry tried to reach for her mug, and JJ quickly pulled it away before he could get a hold of it and shower them both in scalding coffee. JJ took a sip, allowing a hum to escape her.</p><p>“Nope,” she told her son. “That’s Mommy’s drink. You’ve got your own right there,” she reminded him, tapping against his sippy cup.</p><p>Henry watched her with big eyes, his bottom lip sticking out, and JJ felt a dim alarm go off in the back of her head. Oh-oh. She knew that look, and that look did not spell anything good.</p><p>Henry turned his gaze upon Emily and tried to get her to share her coffee, only to receive the same answer he had gotten from his mother.</p><p>“Sorry, bug,” the brunette told him as she shook her head, Henry’s bottom lip starting to tremble precariously. “That’s only for adults.”</p><p>The toddler blinked at her once, twice, before he dropped his cup and burst into a loud wail.</p><p>“Oh shit,” Emily breathed, causing JJ to roll her eyes at the surprised reaction. She had seen it coming from a mile way, her son’s body language easily readable to her.</p><p>“I know,” she sighed, bending down to pick up Henry’s discarded cup.</p><p>“I’m sorry, baby,” she apologized to him, hugging Henry gently after she’d straightened again. Her son hid his face against her, JJ rubbing her hand over his back in a soothing gesture. And then Henry surprised her again, by reaching for Emily, making grabby hands at the older woman.</p><p>Emily hesitated, looking at JJ for guidance, not entirely sure what she was supposed to do.</p><p>“I think he wants a hug,” JJ told her, stepping back so Emily could pick Henry up. The toddler snuggled close her, wrapping one arm around her neck, the thumb of his other hand finding his mouth as he sucked on it in an attempt to soothe himself.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Emily murmured softly, turning her body in a slow rocking motion while she stroked the boy’s back with her hand.</p><p>“I know. But I promise you, your cocoa tastes wayyyy better than yucky coffee.”</p><p>JJ reached up to hide a snicker behind her hand. It was just too funny, hearing Emily Prentiss, the woman that had once made an impromptu hymn to coffee and called it ‘nectar of the gods’, call the dark brew yucky.</p><p>Emily gave her a look, rolling her eyes before she stuck her tongue out at JJ. She turned her attention back to he clingy toddler in her arms, kissing Henry’s temple.</p><p>“What do you think,” JJ started, reaching over to give a small tug on Henry’s footie PJs. “How about you and I go get changed into something warmer.”</p><p>Henry tilted his head at her, resting his head against Emily’s shoulder.</p><p>“Dowwie,” he declared after a moment, making Emily frown in confusion as JJ’s brows lifted.</p><p>“You need a fresh diaper?” she asked him and Henry nodded, but his hand twisted into Emily’s shirt. JJ swallowed, preparing herself for a tantrum.</p><p>“Wow,” Emily murmured, letting out a soft chuckle. “I totally would have thought that meant doggie.”</p><p>“It does,” JJ confirmed. The other woman’s brows dipped in confusion and the blonde gave a small shrug.</p><p>“I let him pick his diapers, they have prints on them. Some have dogs,” she explained, watching as Emily’s eyes lit up in understanding.</p><p>“Okay, that makes more sense,” the brunette said, giving Henry a small bounce on her hip. JJ held out her hands, smiling at the boy.</p><p>“Come on, let’s get you changed and dressed,” she told him, but her son shook his head, clutching at Emily.</p><p>“Emmi,” he said, his tone making JJ draw a deliberate breath. She knew that tone, it was Henry’s ‘don’t push me’ tone he got when he was getting frustrated and tethering precariously close to a meltdown.</p><p>“Hey bug,” Emily replied, her voice softer. “You gonna go with Mommy, get cleaned up?”</p><p>Henry frowned at her and shook his head, snuggling close to the brunette, and leaving JJ to run her hand through her hair in a frustrated gesture at their predicament. She couldn’t ask Emily to take care of her son, but he needed to be changed, especially when Henry demanded it on his own. But it looked like the boy was reluctant to part from the other woman, and given the current time, JJ was reluctant to pull him away, knowing that he’d probably start screaming and end up waking up the rest of the house.</p><p>“Sh, it’s okay,” Emily murmured, patting his back. “You want me to do it?” she inquired. Henry nodded, closing his eyes as a shudder ran through him, the tension leaving his small frame.</p><p>“I can’t ask you to-”</p><p>“You’re not asking,” Emily cut off JJ’s protest.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure he did,” JJ argued, and saw Emily roll her eyes.</p><p>“I’m, volunteering,” she declared, touching her cheek to Henry’s head in a tender gesture. “You want a new diaper? One with doggies?” she asked. Henry lifted his head, nodding eagerly as he errupted into gibberish, causing Emily to nod solemnly.</p><p>“Uh-huh, yeah,” she nodded, smiling at him. “Yeah, we’re gonna get you changed, and then pick up a nice outfit for you. I’m sure your mommy packed a cute sweater, you wanna check?” she said, leaving the kitchen with the boy on her hip, JJ blinking after them as her mind whirled.</p><p>She never would have guessed that Henry could grow this attached to Emily that fast, nor had she thought that Emily would be up to taking as much care of him as she did. JJ never would have dreamed of handing Henry off to her to get his diaper changed, but her son didn’t have any qualms about that, and apparently, while Emily had little to no experience with it, she was willing to try and learn for the little guy.</p><p>The thought made JJ’s heart flutter hopefully inside the blonde’s chest.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Emily reached up, leaning in a little to get a better look as she touched up her lipstick.</p><p>The brunette leaned back after, checking her reflection in the full length mirror in the corner of her room. She nervously reached up to brush her hair behind her ear, tilting her head at herself.</p><p>She’d put on a knitted black dress with a turtleneck, as well as dark pantyhose. Her lips were a dark red, and she’d gone a little heavier on the eyeliner than she did normally these days.</p><p>A soft knock on her door caused her to jump and the brunette checked her watch, a curse escaping her lips when she realized she was five minutes late already.</p><p>“Coming!” she called, grabbing her purse from the bed and putting her lipstick in there. She went and turned off the light and slipped from her room, finding Sergey in the hallway, dressed in a nice shirt and dress pants.</p><p>“Sorry, sorry,” she apologized to him as they made their way to the stairs, the man rolling his eyes at her.</p><p>“Women,” he remarked with an exaggerated sigh. “Your friend, she still getting dressed, too,” he added at Emily’s look.</p><p>It made the brunette pause and open her mouth, ready to tell the older man that she was going to check on JJ, but before she could, she heard the fall of familiar footsteps behind them.</p><p>“Sorry,” the blonde apologized. “He really was fighting sleep tonight,” she muttered and Emily turned to give JJ a reassuring smile and tell her it was fine, but when she saw the other woman, she found her eyes nearly falling out of her head.</p><p>JJ looked absolutely stunning. She’d donned a beautiful dark blue dress that brought out the light color of her eyes as well as a blazer. Her hair was pulled into a French braid, the end falling over the blonde’s shoulder. Her make-up was more drastic than her usual work look, but nothing Emily hadn’t seen on their girls nights at various bars. The eyeshadow empathised her eyes even more, and the sparkling lipgloss drew Emily’s gaze to the blonde’s lips.</p><p>The brunette chewed on her lower lip as memories of what those lips felt like, pressed against her own flooded her mind. She felt her cheeks head and quickly averted her gaze.</p><p>“Let me just talk to your mother real quick, and then we can go,” JJ said, taking the stairs and leaving Sergey and Emily standing in the hallway, and awkward tension still in the air.</p><p>The older man let out a chuckle as he shook his head and Emily rolled her eyes at him, giving him a slight slap against his shoulder.</p><p>“Come on,” she said, heading down the stairs herself. “Better make sure your bothers haven’t gotten into a woodcutting match or something.”</p><p>She heard Sergey mutter something behind her, but didn’t quite catch it as she was still trying to get her racing heartrate back under control.</p><p>“-really sure?” she heard JJ’s voice coming from down the hall. “I totally understand if it’s too much. I mean, he’s my child, after all, and you’re not related-”</p><p>“Emily, will you please tell Miss Jareau that I am very happy to look after her child for the night?” Elizabeth Prentiss said when she spied her daughter walking into the den.</p><p>“JJ, let her babysit, for Heaven’s sake,” Emily told her, watching the blonde wring her hands.</p><p>“It is fine,” the Ambassador insisted. “Contrary to what other people believe, I have looked after a toddler before,” she added with a slight tilt of her head. Emily watched as JJ’s cheek flushed and bit back a comment.</p><p>“I think I can handle a sleeping child for a few hours, while you all go out.”</p><p>“You’re sure you don’t want to come with?” Emily asked her mother with a tilt of her head. It had been Sasha’s idea, to go out tonight, and he’d initially only asked Emily if she wanted to catch a break, figuring that the brunette was the most likely to agree to a break from the family.</p><p>The Ambassador shook her head, leaning over to give her daughter a hug.</p><p>“Drive safe,” she told her, her dark eyes finding the other adult children. “All of you. Who’s Designated Driver?”</p><p>“Me,” Yegor sighed. “Drew short straw,” he added with a shrug, burying his hands in his jeans.</p><p>“And me,” Emily reminded him, bumping her shoulder against the man that was the closest to her own age. They had been born only a few weeks apart, Yegor less than two months older than her.</p><p>“One beer, that’s it.”</p><p>She saw JJ open her mouth to protest, probably to offer that she be the one to stay sober, but Victor cut her off as he reminded his sons to behave like gentlemen in Russian.</p><p>The man was going to stay behind with Emily’s mother, which the brunette was pretty sure was the reason why her mother was fine with the five of them going out in the first place. The Ambassador and her partner probably wanted some time to themselves, without having to worry about where exactly their children were and how likely it was they were going to barge in on them.</p><p>Emily reached over, taking JJ’s shoulders and steering her from the room as she mouthed a thank you to her mother. That Elizabeth had volunteered to babysit Henry so that JJ could join the others on their night out at the local bar was a rather nice extra Christmas gift that Emily was going to deeply appreciate.</p><p>The drive to the bar took a little more than half an hour, Emily behind the wheel of Victor’s car. The place was licated almost exactly between two neighboring villages, and by the looks of the parking lot, it wasn’t just the five of them that had decided that the evening of December 26 was high time to get a break from their families and go out to party.</p><p>Emily let out a happy sound when she cruised the parking lot the second time and spied a free spot. She pulled in and killed the engine to Victor’s car, shifting to unbuckle her seatbelt.</p><p>“Before we go in,” JJ started, the blonde reaching over to catch Emily’s arm. Her fingers closed around the brunette’s wrist softly, the touch making her pause in reaching for the door handle. Emily leaned back in her seat, swallowing thickly as she stared at the bar.</p><p>She braced herself, to be told off for how much time she’d spent with Henry, or for any mistake she might have made with the toddler earlier. She knew that the only reason he hadn’t made a giant puddle on the couch was because JJ had checked Emily’s handiwork and upon finding the boy’s diaper way too lose, had put a fresh one on him just in time.</p><p>Or maybe JJ had realized what a mistake last night had been. Perhaps she’d come to her senses, and figured out that she’d been out of her mind to even consider going out with Emily for one second. The brunette wouldn’t blame her. She knew that JJ was amazing and the blonde certainly deserved someone who would be able to easily match her in her radiance. And she was just, boring old nerdy Emily.</p><p>“I just, I was wondering… is this a date?”</p><p>JJ’s voice was soft and earnest, the blonde’s words surprising Emily. The brunette swallowed thickly and reached up to nervously brush her hair behind her ear while her other hand playing with the keys to the car, until she finally gave a helpless shrug.</p><p>“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I mean, I guess I kind of, maybe I want it to be,” she whispered, swallowing thickly as she felt JJ’s eyes on herself. “But I get if it’s, too much, if we’re moving too fast, or if you changed your mind. And besides, perhaps being surrounded by the Russian trio on our first date isn’t the greatest thing, anyway.”</p><p>“As if those three will pay us any attention,” JJ chuckled. “As soon as we’re in that place, they’re gonna forget all about us.”</p><p>Emily’s brows dipped at the statement. She wasn’t nearly as confident as JJ that that would be the case. While all three brothers definitely loved their alcohol, and flirting, she was fairly sure that Victor had pulled them aside earlier and made sure that they’d keep an eye on Emily and JJ while they were out, to make sure that no one crossed a line with them. And even though she hadn’t known them for long, Emily had seen the protectiveness in the brothers, for each other and for Henry as well. She was pretty sure that anyone who so much as breathed weirdly in their direction would have a hell of a night.</p><p>She felt JJ’s fingers give her knee a soft squeeze and felt her cheeks heat.</p><p>“Wanna go on a date with me?” she blurted. JJ’s eyes widened and Emily saw her mouth open. When JJ didn’t immediately respond and instead took a deep breath, she found her heart sinking and prepared herself to be turned down.</p><p>“Yeah,” JJ breathed, her lips curving into a soft smile. She surprised Emily by leaning over the middle console, her lips catching the brunette’s in a soft kiss. “I’d love to go on a date with you, Emily Prentiss.”</p><p>The older woman felt her lips pull back into a giddy grin, allowing a small giggle to escape herself. She reached for the door handle again and got out of the car, JJ following her. Emily offered her arm to the other woman and JJ took it, her hand giving the brunette’s upper arm a soft squeeze as they started towards the bar’s entrance, the snow crunching underneath their feet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Dec 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JJ came to slowly, a soft groan escaping the blonde at the throbbing headache that was pulsing inside her skull. The blonde turned her face, moving a little to find a cool spot on the pillow. She reached up, placing a hand on top of her head, hoping it would somehow get rid of the pain.</p><p>She wasn’t sure, if she fell back asleep, or if she stayed awake. She only knew that the next thing she was aware of, was the smell of Emily’s perfume, and the sound of the brunette’s footsteps around the bed.</p><p>“Sh, see,” Emily whispered softly. “Mommy’s still sleeping. Come on, let’s let her have some more rest and get you dressed, buggeroo.”</p><p>JJ heard Emily’s footsteps retreat and then the door shut again, the blonde letting out a soft sigh at the quiet. Every one of Emily’s steps had echoed inside her skull, making it vibrate painfully.</p><p>It took her some time, before she was able to open her eyes and reach for the alarm on the bedside table to check the time.</p><p>0949.</p><p>JJ let out another groan, the device falling from her limp fingers and hitting the floor, making the blonde wince. She reached out, pulling the blanket over her head, thinking that maybe the darkness would help a little.</p><p>Way too much alcohol, JJ concluded. Not like she hadn’t already known that last night, but by that point, she’d already been way too drunk to realize the consequences that would be waiting for her in the morning. She really shouldn’t have gotten it into her head to try and match the boys drink for drink last night.</p><p>Of course she had lost. Not just with the throbbing headache, JJ was pretty sure that at some point, she had to tap out. Or maybe Emily had cut her off?</p><p>The blonde tried to shake her head, quickly stopping the motion when it only made the headache worse and the room spin again. She pressed her hand back against the top of her head, trying to stave off some of the pain as she started to sit up slowly.</p><p>JJ managed to get her legs out of bed and sat on the edge, spying a bottle of water as well as two aspirin. A soft smile tugged at her lips as she reached for them, washing the medication down with half the bottle before deciding she might as well empty it. She probably needed the fluids.</p><p>It helped slightly. Enough that JJ noticed the post-it note on the table. She picked it up, warmth curling in her chest as she recognized Emily’s familiar scrawl.</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>“Hope you don’t feel too horrid. We’re going to take Henry out on the sled, give you an opportunity to sleep in. Take your time.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>- xoxo Emily”</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>The signature made the blondes lips curl into a soft smile, as well as her cheeks heat. Now that she was waking up, the cobwebs of sleep clearing from her brain, she could remember some heated kisses in a bar restroom the night before. She dimly remembered trying to push up Emily’s dress, but the brunette had reminded her they were still in a public place, and more than that, she wasn’t about to have sex with JJ when the blonde was clearly drunk.</p><p>It had annoyed her at the time, but since JJ couldn’t remember anything past that point, she knew that Emily had made the right call. She would have hated herself for sleeping with the brunette for the first time, and then forgetting all about it. Emily deserved better than that. She deserved better than sloppy kisses and rough touches as JJ lost most of her fine motor control with her inebriation.</p><p>The blonde had no idea how exactly she’d gotten back to the house, or how she’d ended up in her room, wearing a very familiar t-shirt. One that depicted a group of reindeer partying. The blonde worried at her lower lip, praying she hadn’t made too much of a fool, or ass out of herself the night before.</p><p>Slowly, JJ got out of bed, deciding that she should try and take a shower. Hope that the water would do the rest of the trick and wake her up fully, as well as give the aspirin enough time to really kick in.</p><p>When she finally emerged from the bathroom, she felt a lot more human. On her way downstairs, JJ stopped to check the room Henry had been sleeping in, but found it empty. She’d expected as much, but had wanted to make sure nonetheless. The door to Emily’s room was closed, and JJ gave it a short knock that yielded no results. JJ tilted her head at the wood, before deciding she wouldn’t open the door to check. She didn’t want to invade Emily’s privacy.</p><p>Downstairs, the Ambassador was sitting at the kitchen island, studying the newspaper. She wordlessly held up the pot of coffee when she heard JJ’s footsteps and the blonde grabbed herself a mug, holding it out for the other woman to fill.</p><p>Emily’s mother waited until JJ had added milk and an unhealthy amount of sugar to her mug and taken a careful sip, before she wished her a good morning.</p><p>JJ swallowed thickly, reaching up to brush her hair behind her ear.</p><p>“I hope we weren’t, too bad, last night. Too loud when we finally got home,” she apologized, but the Ambassador waved her off.</p><p>“Not really. At least you weren’t,” the woman added with a slight tilt of her head. “Sasha, on the other hand…” she trailed off with a shake of her head, offering JJ part of the paper. The blonde took it, scanning the headlines as she sipped her coffee and ate a bit of gingerbread. Her stomach felt a little upset, probably from the abuse she had put her system through the night before. Jesus, she really should have told Emily to cut her off so much earlier.</p><p>“I don’t know, what my daughter’s plans are, with you,” Emily’s mother spoke up again. JJ’s eyes went wide and she felt a furious flush heat her face and neck at the woman’s casual tone and words.</p><p>“But I do hope that there will be an engagement at some point,” she added. “Because if there isn’t, I may have to make a phone call or two. Erin Strauss is a personal friend of mine.”</p><p>JJ’s blue eyes widened further at the threat. The blonde swallowed thickly, opening her mouth to assure the older woman that she was taking this budding thing between the woman’s daughter and herself very seriously indeed. JJ didn’t want to toy with Emily, nor was she merely looking for a quick lay. She cared for Emily, deeply, and she wouldn’t dream of hurting the other woman by merely using her to scratch an itch.</p><p>But to her mounting horror, Elizabeth’s lips curved into a soft smile and she shook her head at JJ’s gaping expression.</p><p>“I am joking, Agent Jareau,” she told her, lifting her own cup to her lips to take a sip of her black coffee. “Trust me, I know that my daughter is one to rather avoid commitment of that sort, or at least she has been, in the past. And I will not interfere with your job, should the two of your decide to not pursue whatever it is that is currently going on between you,” she continued.</p><p>“But I am her mother, and I would rather dislike seeing Emily get her feelings hurt,” the Ambassador finished, leveling a steel gaze at JJ. Who swallowed thickly and inclined her head.</p><p>“It’s not my intention to hurt her,” she told the older woman. “I do care about your daughter. Very much,” JJ said, rubbing a hand over her forehead.</p><p>“I like her. I really, really like her, and I do want to be with her. It’s just… complicated, at the moment,” JJ sighed. “I mean, I have Henry to consider, as well. And his father and I have only recently split, and things have not been the smoothest,” she muttered, feeling shame burn her cheeks.</p><p>The Ambassador nodded, taking another sip of her coffee.</p><p>“All I ask, is that you are honest with her,” she said, causing JJ to not quickly.</p><p>“I will be,” she said, feeling her eyes widen before she quickly shook her head. “I mean, I already am,” she corrected herself at the bemused look of the older woman. JJ took a steady breath, deciding that she was better off she if she changed the topic. Before she managed to dig herself an even deeper grave. Even if Elizabeth may have told her she wouldn’t make use of her connection with Strauss, JJ wasn’t so sure that the Ambassador would keep up her end of that promise.</p><p>“Where is my son?” JJ asked, her brows dipping slightly when she realized she hadn’t heard Henry’s voice or his laughter the entire time she’d been awake.</p><p>As much as she trusted Emily with the toddler, JJ didn’t know the rest of the adults well enough to be entirely comfortable with the idea of Henry being with them on his own. And she also felt slightly guilty, for forcing Emily to take care of JJ’s child after the blonde had had way too much to drink the previous night. She shouldn’t have to cover for JJ because the toddler’s mother hadn’t known her limits.</p><p>“They’re all outside,” the Ambassador told her. “I think Emily and Yegor are thoroughly enjoying the other two with the cold and a squealing toddler,” she chuckled, mirth sparkling in her dark eyes. The sight startled JJ, reminding her so much of the woman’s daughter and the expression that Emily had had when she’d successfully pulled off a prank against Derek Morgan a couple of weeks ago.</p><p>“Great,” JJ rolled her eyes, wincing when the motion made her head throb painfully again. Maybe she needed to dial back on the sarcasm today. Shame, really.</p><p>“I think I’m going to go check on them,” she declared, finishing the last of her coffee. Elizabeth only have a soft hum at her words and returned her attention back to the paper. JJ put her muginto the dishwasher and went to grab a thicker sweater before she went and put on her boots and coat. She grabbed her hat and put her gloves on, opening the door and stepping outside into the Canadian winter cold.</p><p>JJ trembled as the cold air hit her, the agent drawing a hissing breath in between her teeth. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering.</p><p>There were faint sounds of yelling coming from further down, and JJ could see tracks in the freshly fallen snow. She shrugged, leaving the front porch and following the tracks towards the direction of the lake. As she crested the small hill, JJ paused, a soft laugh escaping her at the sight before her.</p><p>Her son was parked on a wooden sled, watching the adults around him. Who look to be in a snowball fight, one that was deteriorating into them merely shoveling up lose snow with their hands and throwing that at one another right under JJ’s gaze.</p><p>Victor shook his head at the younger adults and picked up the toddler, taking a few steps back in an attempt to ensure the child wouldn’t end up with a face full of snow.</p><p>JJ lifted her arm in greeting and went over to them, Victor letting Henry down. The toddler waddled towards her in the snow, little arms sticking out due to the thickness of his snowsuit.</p><p>“Hey baby!” JJ smiled at him in greeting as she crouched down and showered Henry’s little face with kisses. Her son grinned at her, trying to wrap his arms around her but failing due to how stiff they were with the insulation.</p><p>JJ took off a glove and touched her son’s face before she stuck it into the back of his suit, to check the temperature and make sure he wasn’t cold. Henry let out an unhappy sound at the sudden coldness of his mother’s fingers and JJ quickly withdrew again, satisfied with how toasty the inside of the suit had felt.</p><p>“Sorry, buddy,” she apologized and kissed his cheek again. “Are you having fun watching the crazy people?” she asked as Victor approached them, the older man letting out a guffaw at her words.</p><p>“We built another snowman. Let him go down hill few times. He not like very much, what is called?” he frowned, tilting his head as he made a horizontal circle with his index finger.</p><p>“Merry-go-round?” JJ guessed, hugging her son as Henry leaned against her. “No, he doesn’t really. He’s not a fan of things that move really fast,” she added with another kiss to the toddler’s red cheek.</p><p>Henry straightened, arms windmilling at his side as he staggered off in the direction of the others. Seeing as the four seemed to be window down in their snowball fight, JJ let him go and watched him waddle over, finally falling into Emily’s legs.</p><p>The brunette woman let out a soft laugh and picked him up out of the snow. She grinned at Henry and helped him stand again before bending down and making a snowball. She handed it over to the toddler, pointing at Sasha, who was currently distracted with his attempts at getting the snow off his woolen hat, not noticing what was happening around him.</p><p>JJ watched as her son drew back his arm and launched the snowball. She held her breath, watching it sail off to the side, completely missing Sasha. And hitting the man’s older brother square in the face.</p><p>“Oh-oh,” Henry commented.</p><p>Emily quickly stood and shook her head, her hands out in front of the brunette as she took a few steps away from Henry.</p><p>“Truce,” she declared. “Truce. We weren’t aiming for you,” she tried as Yegor wiped the snow off his face. The man seemed rather calm. Too calm, JJ realized as he bent down and picked up an already made snowball at his feet. He straightened, firming it up in his gloved hands.</p><p>“He’s a toddler!” Emily exclaimed. “His aim was off! Besides, he doesn’t know-”</p><p>Whatever else the woman might have said was cut off by her squeal as Yegor launched first the snowball and then himself at her, tackling Emily into a snowdrift, the woman’s laughter carrying over to where JJ and Victor were standing.</p><p>JJ let out a surprised laugh at the sight, shaking her head at the antics of the adults.</p><p>She’d rarely gotten to see Emily like this in the past. There had been a handful of times, mostly with Morgan, yes. But besides that, Emily had always had this kind of, air of dignified detachment about her. As if she was above such silly things and couldn’t possibly enjoy them.</p><p>It was good to see that she was able to let her hair down once in a while. Seeing her apparently enjoy roughhousing with the sons of her mother’s partner, hearing her laugh, it made JJ’s chest fill with tender affection.</p><p>“Mama!”</p><p>“I know!” JJ exclaimed in response to her son as Henry pointed at Emily and Yegor wrestling in the snow.</p><p>The brunette had quickly managed to overpower him. She’d turned Yegor onto his belly, straddling the man’s back as she shoved his face into the snow briefly, before pulling it back up to let him get more air.</p><p>“Never do that to a trained FBI agent,” she warned him with a chuckle before getting off his back. She stood, holding out a hand to the man.</p><p>Yegor turned onto his back, eying Emily suspiciously before he gave a shrug and accepted her help in getting to his feet again.</p><p>The sound of Henry’s sudden squeal made JJ jump and she watched him try to run over to Emily and Yegor, possibly to throw himself at them, but he quickly tripped and ended up face-first in the snow.</p><p>JJ quickly hurried over, picking her son up as Henry spluttered in surprise, spitting out the cold snow.</p><p>“I think that’s enough for now, huh?” she said, bouncing him a little on her hip as she helped wipe the snow off his face. “Let’s go back inside and defrost, bud,” she declared, turning to head back towards the cabin.</p><p>She’d only made a few steps when she felt a gentle touch to the small of her back, before Emily fell into step beside her, an easy smile on her face.</p><p>“I see you’ve made it out of bed,” she commented and JJ nodded.</p><p>“I did. Thanks, for letting me sleep it off,” she told the brunette, thankful that the cold air had already given her cheeks a rosy hue and Emily couldn’t see her blush.</p><p>“How’s the head?” the olde woman inquired with a sympathetic expression.</p><p>“Better,” JJ allowed. “The fresh air definitely helped,” she added, drawing a deliberate breath. “Listen, about, uh, last night… I can’t remember that much, but I hope I wasn’t too…” she trailed off, searching for the right words. Once she could use in front of her son and not have to worry about Henry repeating them at an inopportune moment and embarrass her.</p><p>“Oh, you were a perfect lady,” Emily told her, causing JJ to narrow her eyes at the other woman.</p><p>“Really?” she frowned, unable to fully believe the brunette’s words. Especially given what she was able to remember, from the bar restroom encounter.</p><p>“Well, you did try to get me to take off my clothes as well when I was helping you get changed for bed,” Emily revealed with a low chuckle. JJ let out an embarrassed grown, hiding her face against Henry’s hood.</p><p>“It’s fine. Really,” Emily assured her, and JJ lifted her head, to search the other woman’s face.</p><p>“Really?” she asked, swallowing. She wanted to believe her, but she needed to be sure. If she had upset Emily this early on, she wanted to know so she could apologize and try to make it up to the brunette.</p><p>“Really,” Emily nodded, reaching out to open the door and hold it for JJ. The blonde stepped inside, putting Henry down and starting to undress her son while Emily took off her own coat and boots.</p><p>“Here, let me continue with the little Michelin guy,” Emily said once she was done. JJ stood, taking a step back as Emily knelt down to undo Henry’s boots, helping the boy take them off.</p><p>“Alright, all done,” Emily declared as she’d managed to wrestle him out of his snowsuit. “You gotta go potty? We were outside for a while.”</p><p>Henry shook his head, ready to take off, but Emily quickly took his hand, holding him back.</p><p>“How about we just go and make sure, huh?” she decided before JJ could tell her to. The blonde watched in awe as Emily stood and started leading the boy down the hall towards the bathroom, leaving JJ to stare after her.</p><p>She had no idea, how Emily did it. How she seemed to so easily be able to fall into the role of a caregiver when, as far as JJ was aware, she’d never done much babysitting before. Maybe it was due to things JJ had talked about before, had vented about to the brunette. Or her experience with Declan Doyle had been deeper than JJ had realized.</p><p>The blonde shook her head, bending down to kick off her own boots and put them onto the shoerack to dry and took Henry’s snowsuit so she could put it close to a radiator and get it to dry quickly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Dec 31</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>last normal chapter, the final one is a kind of epilogue</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emily reached up, pulling off her black woolen hat to run a hand through her hair and get it into some semblance of order. She’d had to park a few blocks away and was now standing in front of JJ’s door at New Year’s Eve, her heart hammering in the brunette’s chest.</p><p>She licked her lips, worrying at her lower lip before she gave a resolute shake of her head. It wouldn’t get better, the longer she spent standing out here, so she reached up, knocking on the door in the familiar rhythm JJ and her had developed over the years to let each other know who was on the other side.</p><p>A moment later the door opened and Emily bent down at the flash of something small moving, preventing Henry from slipping past her and out into the cold night without shoes or socks on his feet.</p><p>“Hey there buggeroo,” she laughed as she picked him up, hearing Henry let out a happy squeal as the boy threw himself against her, hugging Emily tightly.</p><p>“Too much sugar,” JJ greeted her with a small shake of her head before she stepped aside to allow Emily inside the house.</p><p>“My mother called a while ago and I was on the phone with her for a bit. I wasn’t paying enough attention, apparently, because this one here managed to sneak half a bar of chocolate in that time.”</p><p>“Wow,” Emily whispered, balancing the squirming toddler on her hip. “Did Mommy and I teach you too much sneakyness?” she asked him before leaning in to kiss his cheek.</p><p>“Apparently so,” JJ laughed. “I was about to see if he’d go down, but now you’re here, and there’s no point in even trying right now.”</p><p>Emily winced at the blonde’s words. Though JJ’s voice held no malice, it didn’t take a genius to understand that the woman was tired and would probably have preferred to have her child in bed already.</p><p>“Sorry,” the brunette apologized softly, trying to shrug out of her coat while still holding Henry. JJ held out her hands to the boy, who shook his head, the hold he had on Emily tightening.</p><p>“Okay, okay,” she murmured, patting his back. “It’s okay. Can I just take my coat off? I promise I’ll hold you again as soon as it’s off.”</p><p>Henry leaned back, searching her face, before he let out a shuddering sigh. JJ stepped forward, gently taking him into her arms and rubbing his back as Emily took off her coat and put it on the rack by the door. She kicked off her boots as well, tugging the sleeves of her sweater over her hands nervously.</p><p>She’d been biting her nails earlier, while she was working on her report. And she knew JJ would probably notice. The blonde had a way of being able to tell, and Emily had kind of promised her she’d try not to do it anymore.</p><p>But the thing was, it wasn’t just work that had made her anxious. To be honest, coming in on New Year’s Eve to have a look at a request from police station in Missouri hadn’t been that bad, though the case file had been pretty horrific. But worse than what she’d read on the paper, had been Emily’s own thoughts and her worries connected to what had happened over Christmas and where things were going to go now.</p><p>She knew that being away, being out of town for the duration of Christmas, it could very well have been a factor in allowing JJ to talk to her like she had. In letting the blonde admit her feelings and kiss her. Now that they were back in town, things looked different. The reality of their lives had come crashing back the moment Emily had stepped out of the airport, the pressure only getting worse once she was in her apartment again. She was fairly sure that JJ must have felt very much the same way when the blonde and Henry returned to town a day before her, on the twenty-eight, Emily following on the twenty-nineth. She’d considered extending her stay over New Year’s, but just a few hours of JJ and Henry being gone from the cabin had been too much for her. At least in DC, there were distractions. Like finishing up paperwork, and consulting on a last minute request. Things she could do, to distract herself from her melancholy and the gaping hole JJ’s absence had left behind inside her chest.</p><p>“Bad one?” JJ inquired, her voice soft as she nodded towards Emily’s hands. The brunette swallowed thickly, memories of the crime scene pictures invading her mind. She gave a resolute shake of her head, trying to push them back.</p><p>“I wouldn’t be surprised if this ended up being our first case of the new year,” she nodded, forcing a smile at Henry. The boy wiggled in his mother’s grasp, but instead of handing him back to Emily, JJ bent down and set him onto the floor. Henry immediately went for Emily’s hand, taking hold and giving it a harsh pull.</p><p>“Emmi pway,” he declared, pulling her into the direction of the living room, Emily staggering behind him. She was surprised by his strength and had to catch herself so she wouldn’t trip over the little guy.</p><p>Henry paused in the middle of what looked like a bomb site of building blocks and dinosaur toys. He flopped down on the floor and Emily carefully sat down as well, wincing when her butt hit one of the wooden blocks.</p><p>She heard JJ let out a soft giggle, the blonde having followed them.</p><p>“Buddy, slow down. Let Emily catch her breath.”</p><p>“Emmi pway,” Henry repeated, shooting a quick glare at his mother before holding out a toy to the brunette woman. “Dino.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s a dino,” Emily nodded, accepting it from him. JJ joined them on the floor, closer to Henry than to Emily.</p><p>The brunette longed to reach out and take the other woman’s hand. To lean in and kiss JJ. She’d missed her terribly, those last couple of days. Going from being around each other 24/7 to not seeing each other at all, that had been difficult. Harder than the profiler liked to admit.</p><p>Not that she blamed JJ. She knew that the blonde needed some time, to process what had happened between them in Canada, and figure out where she wanted things to go. Besides, Will hadn’t been happy about her sudden disappearance, and JJ had tried to make it up to the man that he hadn’t gotten to spend Christmas with his son, so they’d been seeing him most of the day. Which may or may not have been the main reason Emily decided to go into the office and volunteer for the consultation request. The others of her team had families to look after or were out of town, it seemed only fair that she be the one to deal with the serial rapist that started to now dabble in murder and mutilated the corpses in horrific fashion, a shocking escalation from his previous MO.</p><p>Henry climbing into her lap pulled the brunette from her thoughts. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his soft hair, closing her eyes as she soaked up his proximity and affection.</p><p>She’d missed him a lot, those past three days. She was reluctant to admit it, but she’d fallen for the little guy almost as much as she had for JJ. His sudden absence from her life had left a painful ache behind, and she had tried very hard to push it away.</p><p>She had no right, to even feel like that about Henry. He wasn’t her child, but JJ’s. And her and the blonde, they weren’t even officially dating. In their text messaged, they’d agreed that JJ wouldn’t tell Will, not just yet at least. And Emily kind of understood her reluctance to let the cop in on the development. After all, he was still very much in love with the other woman, and JJ was reluctant to upset him further than she already had, at least during the festive season.</p><p>Only her reluctance had also made Emily feel self-conscious and made her wonder if this was something JJ actually wanted, or if she was already looking for reasons to break it off between them. Not wanting to let someone else know about them, that surely couldn’t be a good sign. And besides, what even did Emily have to offer the other woman? She had money, yes, but emotionally speaking, she was an immature wreck. All her previous relationships had gone up in flames. She was deathly afraid of commitment and had self-sabotage down to an art. Truth be told, JJ would be better off dating anyone else from the team, anyone in the building, but Emily.</p><p>“Emmi day?”</p><p>Henry’s small voice pulled the brunette from her thoughts. She leaned back, blinking at the toddler in confusion.</p><p>“Huh?” she murmured, reaching up to see if she could get his pacifier out of his mouth, but Henry held onto it with his teeth, the pacifier moving quickly when Emily dropped her attempt at taking it out.</p><p>“Sorry bud, what was that?”</p><p>“Day?” he repeated, the piece of plastic moving quickly as he sucked on it in an effort to soothe himself.</p><p>Emily looked over at JJ, who was pouring her a glass of wine. The blonde tilted her head at her son, handing Emily the glass.</p><p>“Day what?” she asked Henry, the boys brows dipping. He looked over at JJ, stomping his little feet when his mother failed to immediately help him.</p><p>“Hey bud,” the blonde murmured, kneeling and holding out her hands for him. “What’s up, huh? What are you trying to say?”</p><p>Henry let out a frustrated sound, landing on his butt on the floor.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Emily said, setting her glass on the couch table, pushing it to the middle so it couldn’t get knocked over.</p><p>“I know you’re trying. I’m sorry I suck at this,” she apologized to him, feeling moisture well up in her dark eyes.</p><p>“Hey, no,” JJ protested, her voice soft. “You’re doing great. Really!” she insisted at Emily’s doubtful look.</p><p>“Look, most of the time, I don’t know what he’s saying, either. It’s just, guesses. Environmental clues mixed with knowledge of his behavior, his likes and dislikes. Trust me, I’ve had some blocks thrown at me in the past because he was fed up with me not getting it.”</p><p>Emily let out a snort at the mental image of that, before she sobered.</p><p>“Wanna try again?” she heard JJ ask. The blonde managed to get the pacifier from Henry’s mouth, but the boy frowned at her, immediately taking it and shoving it back in.</p><p>“I guess not,” JJ chuckled, leaning in to kiss her son’s cheek.</p><p>“Wanna still play?” she asked him and Henry nodded, picking up one of his toys, crawling over to Emily.</p><p>She reached out, running her hand through his soft hair.</p><p>“Hey there,” she murmured, feeling Henry press against her as he hugged her clumsily.</p><p>Before Christmas, Emily had only babysat Henry less times than she needed one hand to count. She’d happily let Garcia and Spence deal with the baby. After all, they were his fairy godparents, and loved doting on the little guy and spoiling him. Emily had more than enough the one time she’d done overnight babysitting and Henry had been awake for twenty minutes during it. In that time, he’d managed to have a diaper blowup and thrown up over one of her favorite shirts, which had been more than enough to let Emily know she was never ever having kids, thank you very much.</p><p>But that had been back when Henry had still been a baby. Now, the little guy was a toddler, who did way more than eat, sleep, scream and poop. He had an actual personality and could communicate much more, even if there were some hiccups there still.</p><p>And what was more, Emily was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, Henry actually liked her. As a person, and not someone who was taking care of his needs. He’d seemed to know who the others were at the cabin, and he’d most often gone to her, when his mother was busy, wanting to play with her, or cuddle with Emily over any of the other adults, besides JJ of course.</p><p>Was Emily making more of an effort to build a relationship with him because Henry was JJ’s child? Maybe. Actually, yes, she was. She wanted to be with JJ, wanted to have an actual shot at building a relationship with the blonde, and starting a future together. And Emily knew that any life with JJ would also include Henry, as well. The two were a package deal, but it was more than that to Emily. She actually found that she wanted Henry in her life, as well, because she liked him. The days over Christmas with him, those had been really nice. She’d enjoyed the moments she’d gotten to spend with him, and watching Henry discover Christmas, seeing his wide-eyes wonder at nearly everything, it had made the brunette feel so much younger again. Had made Emily feel like she got a second chance at Christmas, and rediscovering the magic of it, and that had been one of the greatest gifts she’d ever gotten.</p><p>JJ inviting her for New Year’s Eve, that had to mean something, right? It had come as a surprise to Emily, but a pleasant one, and she’d looked forward to seeing the other woman again. Even though she knew that they really needed to have a serious talk, about what they were doing. They had to figure out where this was going, and what they both wanted from this.</p><p>Emily knew she wanted a relationship. She cared so deeply for JJ, she couldn’t think of anything other than actually dating her, and building a life together. It wasn’t just physical attraction, though she thought that JJ was a gorgeous woman. It was way more than that for her.</p><p>The profiler knew that things weren’t as easy as just wanting a relationship, however. She knew she had a myriad of issues, some of which she still couldn’t fathom ever talking about. But perhaps, with more therapy, that was something that could change. She wanted JJ to know her, wanted to open herself up to the blonde as much as she could. Even if the mere idea of it also terrified Emily to her core. But JJ, the blonde already knew some of the most terrible secrets she had, and she had never once judged Emily for any of them. She’d just been there, and accepted her the way she was. Something that the brunette had desperately needed, without even being aware of it at the time.</p><p>She wanted a relationship. Something solid, something permanent. Even if commitment scared the shit out of her, Emily still found herself yearning for that kind of stability. And she knew that JJ wouldn’t agree to merely a short fling. There was too much on the line, for both of them, to risk it all for a mere scratching of an itch, for a couple of nights with each other. Emily, she wanted to be with JJ. Really be with her, for as long as the blonde would possibly have her.</p><p>JJ lifted a finger to her lips, making a soft shushing sound before she pointed at her son in Emily’s lap. Only then did Emily look down and realize that the boy’s eyes were flutter close, the pacifier in his mouth slowing its motions. Her dark eyes widened at the sight and the affection she felt flood her at the sight.</p><p>Emily reached up, carefully brushing Henry’s hair from his face.</p><p>She heard JJ shift and the blonde’s lips brushed her temple before she leaned back again.</p><p>“Come on, let’s get this one into bed,” the younger woman whispered and stood, lifting Henry from Emily’s arms as she did so. The boy wrapped his arms around his mother’s neck sleepily, JJ shushing him as Emily followed her down the hall to the toddler’s room.</p><p>She watched JJ carefully putting the boy into bed. A sigh escaped the boy as he touched the mattress, his mother stroking his cheek.</p><p>“Sh, it’s okay. You’re okay, Mommy’s right here,” the blonde murmured as she ran a hand over his hair, Henry’s eyelids fluttering. And just like that, JJ straightened, a soft smile playing on her lips and Emily blinked in surprise at the realization that the boy had fallen asleep already.</p><p>“Wow,” she breathed, following JJ out of the room. The blonde almost pulled the door shut, leaving it open just a tiny smidge.</p><p>“I guess he’ll wake up in a couple hours, huh,” Emily said, her heart aching when she thought of the little guy waking up to the sounds of the fireworks going off outside.</p><p>“Probably not,” JJ shook her head. She took Emily’s hand when the brunette hesitated in front of Henry’s room, and gently pulled her down the hallway back to the living room.</p><p>“The HOA has a ban on any kind of fireworks in the area,” she explained at the brunette’s confused gaze. “There’s a lot of vets living in the area and they collectively decided it was better than triggering PTSD episodes twice a year.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s…” Emily started, tilting her head. She sunk onto the couch, still holding onto JJ’s hand. The blonde watched her and Emily carefully moved, intertwining their fingers before she gave JJ’s hand a soft squeeze.</p><p>“Hm,” the younger woman hummed. “We weren’t actively looking for it, but when I saw the restriction, I kind of, fell in love with it?” the blonde shrugged.</p><p>“Yeah, I get it,” Emily agreed. “I mean, I think fireworks are pretty, but I’m really not a fan of the noise level they generate.”</p><p>“Ditto,” JJ smiled at her. “And that way, the kids get to sleep through the night when they’re small, and aren’t cranky on the first day of the new year. Added bonus.”</p><p>Emily let out a low hum. She watched JJ for a moment, not entirely sure what she was supposed to say now. What they ought to talk about.</p><p>“Oh, before I forget,” she finally found something, “my mother wanted me to send her greetings.”</p><p>She saw the other woman’s eyes widen almost comically at the words. Emily let out a soft chuckle and shook her head.</p><p>“She likes you,” she told the blonde. “I think out of everyone that I ever brought home, you may actually be her favorite.”</p><p>“Wow,” JJ whispered. “And that’s while I already have a kid and she threatened my career.”</p><p>Emily found herself sobering at the words.</p><p>“Wait, what?” she frowned, searching JJ’s face. The blonde reached up with her free hand to brush her hair back and gave a small shrug.</p><p>“She claimed it was a joke. When you guys were all outside with Henry and had let me sleep in, I talked to her for a bit, and she said she didn’t want you to get hurt. And then let me know that Erin Strauss is one of her friends.”</p><p>Emily’s jaw dropped in surprise before she gave a sharp shake of her head, a soft curse leaving the brunette.</p><p>“I wouldn’t let her do anything to your career,” she said as she gave JJ’s hand a tight squeeze. “Even if,” she started, her voice catching. She had to clear her throat to be able to continue.</p><p>“Even if, it doesn’t work out between us and either one of us decides that we’re better off as friends. I promise, Jayje, I wouldn’t do that. Or let her do it,” she insisted and saw JJ swallow thickly.</p><p>“Do you think that we’re better off as friends?” she asked, her voice barely audible in the room. “I mean… I already have a kid, and it’s not yours,” she shrugged.</p><p>“Hey,” Emily shook her head. She reached up with her free hand and gently touched JJ’s cheek, stroking her thumb over the soft skin. She met the blonde’s gaze openly, a rueful smile tugging on her lips.</p><p>“Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t think of him as some, some flaw, some point against you.”</p><p>“I’m not,” JJ shook her head before letting out a huff. “I mean, I’m proud to be Henry’s mother. I love him more than anything, and I don’t regret getting pregnant and having him,” she told Emily.</p><p>“But I’m also not stupid,” she continued. “I know that a new partner who already has a child is a different kind of commitment, when it comes to new relationships. You’re not just dating one person, in a way. And Henry and I, we’re a package deal.”</p><p>“Good,” Emily nodded. “I mean, I’ve never been a parents, or a caregiver before,” she shrugged, feeling her cheeks heat. “And I’m so scared I’m gonna mess up. Because I want to get this right, JJ. Henry, he means a lot to me. I don’t want to do the wrong thing. For his sake, yes, but also for yours and mine,” she admitted, her heart hammering inside her chest at the admission. She hung her head, drawing a shaky breath.</p><p>“Maybe we should have talked more about this,” she allowed. “But like, when I invited you for Christmas, it wasn’t… I never expected, this,” she told JJ, holding up their intertwined hands. “Truly not.”</p><p>“I know,” JJ whispered softly. The blonde leaned in, to touch her forehead to Emily’s. The brunette’s eyes flickered shut at the affectionate gesture as JJ held the position and relaxed a little.</p><p>“I didn’t plan this, either,” she heard the other woman whisper, her warm breath ghosting over Emily’s face.</p><p>Emily inhaled deeply. She pressed back into the touch, her nose nudging JJ’s in the process and causing a shiver to run through the older woman.</p><p>“I really missed you,” she whispered. “Especially today.”</p><p>JJ exhaled, the pressure against Emily’s forehead easing as she brushed her lips over the brunette’s in the ghost of a caress.</p><p>Emily felt her heart skip a beat before she begun to race inside her chest, nearly making the profiler wince with the intensity it hammered with. She took a shallow breath, trying hard to resist leaning in further and kissing JJ the way she really wanted to.</p><p>“I missed you, too,” JJ whispered. She dropped Emily’s hand in favor of being able to cradle the older woman’s face, her thumbs smoothing over her cheeks. “God, I missed you so much.”</p><p>The longing in JJ’s voice was too much for the thread Emily’s control was hanging by. It snapped and threw the brunette into free fall, and Emily surged forwards, pressing her lips to JJ’s.</p><p>She heard the blonde make a surprised sound at the back of her throat, but before Emily could think to pull back, JJ had taken hold of the hair at the back of Emily’s neck and was pulling her in, kissing her back and deepening the kiss.</p><p>Emily felt her heart soar, kissing back, a soft moan escaping her as JJ’s tongue slipped into her mouth. This was amazing, and more than she’d even dared to hope for, when she’d been heading over just a little over an hour ago.</p><p>Suddenly, JJ was on top of her, one leg on either side of the brunette’s thighs. Her hands were lost in Emily’s dark hair, mussing it up while the older woman’s roamed across the blonde’s back. She let them dip beneath JJ’s top as the two of them made out on the younger woman’s couch.</p><p>“Take me to bed,” JJ whispered breathlessly between kisses, and Emily surged upwards, holding onto the blonde tightly.</p><p>“Really?” she murmured, trailing kisses along JJ’s jaw. “We don’t have to. I don’t want to-”</p><p>“Emily,” JJ cut her off, her voice holding an edge as Emily nibbled against the soft skin of the blonde’s neck. “Emily, I swear, if you don’t take me to bed-”</p><p>Emily surged up, crashing their mouths together again. She scooted forward on the couch before standing. JJ let out a surprised squeak and Emily held onto her tightly, taking a careful step to make sure she would be able to support the other woman’s weight.</p><p>As the clock struck twelve and the east coast slipped into the new year, Emily and JJ were wrapped up in each other, completely lost to the world around them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. epilogue (Dec 31)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>one year later</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Pwease?”</p><p>JJ had to resist rolling her eyes at her son as Henry stood there, looking up at her with big eyes.</p><p>“Pwetty pwease?”</p><p>“No,” she shook her head and took his small shoulders, gently steering him in the direction of the bathroom.</p><p>“Toothbrush time,” she reminded him before casting a glance over her shoulder to see Emily giving her an equally as pouty expression as Henry had just thrown at her.</p><p>JJ shook her head and tried hard to bite back a chuckle.</p><p>There was a part of her that wanted to give in, and let Henry stay up for the new year. But she also knew that if they did that, they’d all come to regret that decision. Especially since Will was set to pick the boy up at ten in the morning, and JJ knew that if Henry was still sleepy and cranky, she’d never hear the end of it. Well, okay, at least not for a couple of weeks she wouldn’t.</p><p>She managed to convince her son to brush his teeth and made him use the bathroom again, before she took his hand and led him down the hall to his room.</p><p>His room.</p><p>Emily hadn’t even so much as mentioned the idea of turning her office into a bedroom for Henry. JJ had just come over one day, with the toddler, and Emily had told him he could set up his blocks in his room if he wanted to. JJ had frowned at her and then Emily had taken them down the hall and shown them, and JJ had burst into tears at the sight of the room.</p><p>What had previously been a stylish but cold home office had been completely transformed and was now a beautiful bedroom for a child. The walls had been painted a beautiful green, and Emily had gotten a white bed and dresser, on top of which a selection of children’s books sat, most of which duplicates that Henry already had at home. There was a night light plugged into the wall, one that drew stars onto the ceiling of the room, and framed pictures of JJ and Will both with Henry.</p><p>Her son had loved it. But it had been JJ who’d been absolutely floored by the gesture. Emily might have told her before then that she was in this for the long haul, but to see the brunette willingly redecorate an entire room from her own apartment a mere three months into their relationship, that had still shocked JJ and comes as a huge surprise. Especially because it also meant that Emily now couldn’t really run away from them anymore. Not as easily as she might have been able to, in the past, that was.</p><p>“Pwease?” Henry tried again, giving JJ his best puppy look. “Wanna stay up.”</p><p>“I know,” Emily told him when they moved past the living room. She knelt down in front of him, giving a small tug on his PJs. “How about, you and Mommy and me, the three of us, we sit down and watch the Sidney fireworks again, and after, it’s time for bed,” she tried. “How’s that sound?”</p><p>Henry sighed, but he lifted his arms and Emily pulled him into a soft hug, shooting JJ her own puppy look over the boy’s small form. The blonde crossed her arms before sighing, well aware that she was fighting a losing battle.</p><p>“Fine,” she agreed. “Sidney fireworks show, and then bed,” she said, stepping into the room around the two to pick up the tablet and pull up the video.</p><p>Emily carried Henry over to the luxurious couch and sat down with him, the boy snuggling into her. JJ sat down next to them, cuddling close to Emily’s side as she held out the tablet so the three of them could all see the screen and watch the show. She heard her son gasping and awing at the display, just as he had done the other two times they’d watched it already earlier.</p><p>“Again!” he demanded as the video ended, but to JJ’s surprise and relief, Emily was the one to shake her head this time.</p><p>“No,” she told the toddler. “You heard what Mommy said, it’s time for bed now,” she told Henry. Who blinked at her, his brows dipping.</p><p>He wasn’t used to Emily telling him no. The months had taught him that between JJ and her, Emily was much more lenient than his own mother was. Something that probably came as a surprise to anyone who only knew Emily as a profiler and FBI agent would probably find hard to believe. But the truth was, the brunette was just a giant softie, when it came to Henry, and she would do anything in her power to make the little guy happy. Something that had led to the first real fight between JJ and her, when Emily had let Henry stay up way past his bedtime and fed him enough sugar to have him not only climb the walls, but also make himself sick with it.</p><p>It took Emily actual effort, to stick to rigid ruled. Maybe because they reminded her too much of her own childhood. The majority of that had been steeped in hard ruled and Emily had confessed to her that she wanted Henry to be happier than she had been more than anything else. That she wanted to spare him the experiences she’d been forced to endure.</p><p>Which wasn’t to say that Emily couldn’t be an adult. She definitely could, if the situation called for it. It was just that the brunette had a different idea of when that was exactly than when JJ did and sometimes, the two of them bickered about it. Though Emily had learned not to argue in front of Henry and let JJ call the shots ultimately.</p><p>“Come on, it’s time for the Sleep Express,” Emily told Henry. She stood, hoisting the boy up on her hip as she took his hand. JJ watched her make trains sounds as she made her way through the room and down the hall, the blonde watching them go for a moment as her heart clenched inside her chest.</p><p>Emily started doing that one night, when Henry had an especially hard time going to bed. Back then, it had struck JJ as an odd thing, but she’d figured it was probably something her girlfriend had seen on TV or in a movie or something. It had taken six more weeks, when she’d mentioned it in passing to Reid, for her to find out that it was something Emily’s own father used to do with her. The woman had shared it during a case, when the two of them were interviewing a child witness and Emily had been trying to build a rapport with them. Reid had been the only one of the team in the room at the time, and he hadn’t talked about it after, wanting to respect Emily and her privacy. That Emily was sharing one of the few happy memories of her own childhood with Henry, it always touched JJ.</p><p>Henry really liked the Sleep Express. It never failed to at least get him into bed, but only if Emily was the one who did it with him. When the brunette had been out of town for a case and JJ at home, the blonde had tried it once, only to have Henry fly into a massive tantrum at her attempt. Apparently, just like his father wasn’t allowed to read him The Very Hungry Caterpillar because it was JJ’s book, and just like Emily wasn’t allowed to hum a lazy jazz melody under her breath to calm Henry down at the end of the day, JJ wasn’t allowed to do the Sleep Express. If compartmentalizing his bedtime rituals like that helped her son deal with the fact that he now pretty much had three parents, well, JJ was willing to deal with it.</p><p>The blonde shook her head and followed Emily and her son down the hall. As she reached Henry’s room, she found the boy already in his bed, hugging Tigger close to his chest. It had been a birthday present from Will, the stuffy, and since then, JJ kept regularly spraying the thing with a dash of her exes cologne so it smelled like him to Henry and the boy could have that kind of reassurance, even when his dad wasn’t around physically. JJ had given Will a small sample of her favorite perfume as well, so he could put it on the caterpillar stuffy at his own place, and for the past two months, there was a blankie in Henry’s backpack that smelled of Emily’s perfume.</p><p>Neither JJ nor Will or even Emily had thought that the boy might need it. But then Henry had gotten sick while the team was out of town, and while JJ had rushed home to help take care of him, Emily had not only been forced to stay behind, but actually been asked to help with an Interpol investigation and hopped the pond. Henry had spent half of the night up, crying for the brunette and making himself sick in the end. The sight had broken JJ’s heart and really driven home just how important Emily had become to him in only a few short months time. Something that even her ex and Henry’s dad hadn’t been able to deny anymore after that kind of display.</p><p>Not that Will resented Emily. He was just, guarded. Which, all things considered, was probably understandable. He had still been in love with JJ when the two of them broke up, and Henry was his son. He had been worried, about the kind of role Emily would have in the child’s life. But Emily had tried her best to reassure him. She made it a point to never call herself anything close to a parent, neither with Henry, not with anyone else. She was just Emily, or rather, Emmi, to the little guy.</p><p>But JJ had to admit, she’d found herself slipping, these past couple of days. She’d only called Emily Mom once, at least out loud, but inside her own head, that was a different story. There, Emily was as much Henry’s mother as she was. Which was definitely something she needed to discuss with her partner. Find out, how she felt about it, what she wanted to do. And JJ also needed to talk to Will, as well.</p><p>“And then we can all go ice skating. You wanna do that?”</p><p>Emily’s voice pulled JJ from her thoughts. She watched the brunette sit on the edge of Henry’s bed, the boy tugged in. Henry nodded, his eyes drifting close as Emily ran her fingers through his soft hair, shushing him.</p><p>“Sweet dreams, buggeroo. I love you,” she whispered, leaning down to kiss Henry’s forehead before she stood.</p><p>JJ caught her hand, squeezing it as Emily passed her in the doorway. She went over to her son, bending over so she could kiss his forehead and make sure the blanket was secure around him before she withdrew again and snuck from the room.</p><p>“He’s probably going to wake up in, two hours,” the brunette remarked as she held out a glass of wine to her girlfriend.</p><p>JJ took it, taking a small sip and feeling her eyes widen.</p><p>“Oh, very nice,” she complimented, smiling at Emily.</p><p>“Thank you,” the brunette returned with a small curtsy, making JJ giggle. “I figured it was worth the occasion.”</p><p>“Worth the occasion,” JJ echoed, the blonde’s brows furrowing. She reached for the bottle on the couch table, lifting it so she could properly read the label, and felt her eyes almost fall out of her head.</p><p>“Emily!” she exclaimed, staring at the other woman in shock. “Are you insane?!”</p><p>“Hey!” the brunette shot back with indignation before she took the bottle from JJ and set it down again, offering a sheepish shrug. “It was just a present. Honestly, the only reason I kept it for as long was because I liked how the label looked.”</p><p>“This is twenty years old!” JJ shook her head. She didn’t even want to know, what that one bottle was worth. Perhaps she ought to insist Emily tell her, how much her collection was worth roughly. They definitely had to get a padlock for the walk-in that Emily stored them in, to keep Henry from accidentally smashing a bottle that was worth a car payment.</p><p>Though she had to admit, this was really good wine.</p><p>“I know,” Emily rolled her eyes. “I can read, you know.”</p><p>JJ stuck her tongue out at her partner before pulling her into a soft kiss, taste wine on Emily’s dark lips.</p><p>“Hm,” the brunette hummed softly as they parted, touching her forehead to JJ’s.</p><p>“I wanted to, commemorate the occasion,” she whispered, her lips ghosting over the bridge of JJ’s nose in an affectionate kiss.</p><p>“With wine worth more than the entire bill for one of our girls nights?” JJ arched a brow as she leaned back, searching Emily’s face. She reached up, wrapping her free arm around Emily’s neck, her fingers toying with the soft hair at the back of it.</p><p>The brunette gave a small shrug, merely leaning in for another soft kiss.</p><p>“Thank you,” JJ whispered as they broke apart again, kissing the corner of Emily’s mouth at the brunette’s lips curved into a smile.</p><p>“Happy anniversary,” the older woman smiled before she ducked her head into a new kiss. One that went on and on, causing JJ to forget about the glass of wine still in her hand until she moved to wrap her arm around Emily’s middle.</p><p>“Oops,” she giggled, setting it down quickly when she nearly dropped the thing. She quickly turned back around, wrapping both arms around her girlfriend.</p><p>“Happy one year,” JJ grinned at her, feeling Emily settle her hands on her hips and pulling her closer. She directed the home entertainment system to play some soft music and when the first couple of notes drifted from the speakers, Emily began to sway to it. JJ followed her, pressing closer and allowing her head to come to rest against Emily’s shoulder as the older woman took her hand, resting it against her chest as it held it and kissed JJ’s knuckles.</p><p>“I love you,” Emily whispered softly. JJ felt familiar warmth flood her at the words. Even though she had heard Emily say them last Christmas, when they were still not entirely sure if they were dating now or not, she had still been surprised when the brunette had said them again, to her this time, only a mere month into their relationship.</p><p>Then again, the two of them, Emily and her, they’d both gone an exceptionally long time dancing around one another and trying to avoid the feelings they had for each other. So perhaps it shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise that, once they did start officially dating, things moved pretty fast.</p><p>“I love you, too,” JJ replied, kissing the underside of Emily’s jaw before she straightened in order to kiss the other woman fully. She enjoyed kissing Emily immensely, it was one of her favorite things to do. There was a whole language lost in there, in the way Emily would press back against her, or how her tongue would move over JJ’s lips. The sounds she made, if she tensed or relaxed, it all had meaning, and JJ never tired of this way of communicating with the brunette.</p><p>“I was thinking,” Emily murmured between kisses. It made JJ let out a soft groan, because it interrupted their activity, and she couldn’t resist but tease the other woman.</p><p>“Careful, don’t strain yourself,” she quipped. She let out a surprised squeak when she felt Emily pinch her ass in retaliation.</p><p>At her shocked look, Emily arched a brow, the expression in her dark eyes causing JJ to flush deeply. She took a steadying breath.</p><p>“What were you thinking about?” she asked, not ready to let Emily fully win this.</p><p>“Ah,” the brunette hummed. JJ watched her swallow and avert her eyes for a moment, nerves welling up inside the blonde at the sudden change in Emily’s demeanor. But then she turned back to her and held JJ’s gaze, her dark eyes open and soft and filled with love.</p><p>“Move in with me.”</p><p>JJ’s blue eyes widened in shock at the words.</p><p>“What?” she breathed, stunned. That, she really hadn’t expected that.</p><p>Emily gave a quick shake of her head, reaching up to stroke JJ’s cheek.</p><p>“I mean, not necessarily in this place,” she told her, jerking her head in a way that was probably supposed to indicate her luxurious DC apartment.</p><p>“But truth be told, I’m getting sick and tired of going back and forth between our places and realizing I forgot half my things at the other, or that you left stuff that you’re going to need…” Emily trailed off with a small shrug.</p><p>“But it’s… More than that. I want to. I want to live with you. I want to share a place, with you. Both of you. Henry, you and me, living together.”</p><p>JJ’s mouth opened and closed and the blonde swallowed thickly as she searched for the right words.</p><p>Part of her wanted to say yes. Really. Her heart was hammering in her chest, happiness flooding the blonde’s veins at the thought of waking up every day next to Emily. Of spending the rest of her life with the other woman. And while this was not exactly a proposal, it was a massive step towards it. Especially for someone like Emily, who until now had avoided this kind of commitment. As far as JJ knew, she’d never really shared a living space with someone else, besides while she was working deep cover operations and forced to.</p><p>She wanted to say yes, but JJ knew that she also had to be reasonable. As much as she wanted to put herself first, she was a mother, and her decisions didn’t merely affect her own life. She had to look out for her son, for Henry, as well, and moving into Emily’s place… that might not be the best of decisions, for the little guy. JJ had no idea, about the kind of school district the brunette lived in, or how she was supposed to help foot the rent for this place, which she was sure was astronomical and would eat her entire paycheck for breakfast.</p><p>“Bad timing?” Emily inquired. She searched JJ’s face, her eyes taking on a guarded expression, and the blonde quickly leaned in to capture the other woman’s lips in a gentle kiss. To let her know she wasn’t upset with her, that Emily hadn’t said anything wrong.</p><p>“No. Yes. Maybe,” she sighed as they parted again. “Trust me, there’s a huge part of me that wants to, jump at the chance, and just say yes. The other part…”</p><p>“Right,” Emily nodded, an understanding smile crossing her face.</p><p>“And I don’t expect an answer right now. I mean, I know logistics would take some time, to figure out, and we’ve got to talk to Will about it, as well. I’m just… I’m just asking you, if, at some point, maybe even in the coming year, you could see yourself and Henry live in the same place as me?” the brunette asked, her brown eyes shining with hope.</p><p>“Yeah,” JJ whispered, her lips curling into a soft smile as she nodded. She pulled Emily into a deep kiss, refusing to let the other woman go for a moment.</p><p>“I want to live with you,” she whispered as she touched her forehead to Emily’s in a tender gesture. “I love you, Emily.”</p><p>She felt Emily break into a huge grin before the brunette kissed her again, making JJ see stars just moments before the fireworks went up into the sky outside, leaving the two women to giggle softly, drunk on happiness.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>